KNIFE FIGHT

[Aaron]

Hey everybody, here is the introduction story of my game. You'll have to find out the secrets through playing the rest of the of it. Be aware that there are many twists and turns throughout the rest of the story. I hope you all enjoy this little piece of "history."


AN EXCERPT FROM THE 'CHRONICAL OF AGES' BY VARIOUS SHCOLARS THROUGH TIME:

1837 years ago, there was a great upset in the peaceful world's balance. A blonde-haired man named Obitus called on an unknown power that had never been witnessed before. He commanded fierce armies to the end of the globe to destroy all life they came across.
The only facts known about Obitus are as follows: He was the first ever recorded case of blonde hair, he had an immense hatred for himself, and he was a living, rotting cesspool of despair.(Because of this sign of ill karma, all blonde children are often left in the forests or abandoned at some other dangerous location to die of starvation, or killed by fiends or wild animals).
Obitus brought utter destruction to the lives of millions of creatures. After several years hiding under the proverbial rocks, the human race decided to form The Coalition of Light to fight back. Several of the best soldiers from the the human society were chosen to fight in a special unit for the sake of all the creatures. After several more years, the armies of Obitus were driven back to his stronghold. In a fit of anger, he layed down a wrath that noone had ever known upon his own army, killing them all and sealing his own fate. The Coalition of Light arrived shortly, engaging in a battle to end all Wars. They fought bravely, and in the end, Obitus was killed by a soldier named Bane. Obitus was burned and now his ashes serve as the greatest reminder of human bravery ever exhibited in history.
Bane was later crowned as the ruler, and his decendants have been the world leader ever since. Everyone now observes the holiday of "The Great Deliverance" or the day of Obitus' defeat.

END OF EXCERPT

Many, many centuries have passed since that era. The world and government have changed greatly. Draigs live on reservations in the desert, where it is best for them to live. A "Semi-Democratic Monarchy" is currently in power, Draigs have been on the verge of revolt against human kind, and wolvins and turefs sit in their little villages and observe the world affairs. Only the human race keeps a "perfectly" functioning governing body. Only the human race celebrates the Great Deliverance nowadays. The world is a proverbial mess.
Now the 1837th anniversary of the Great Deliverance, and this is the season of our story.

I'll post the characters and stuff like that tomorrow. Tell me what you think.
#nosmileys

[Deleted]

Awesome.

[Doan the Nado]

Yes, I believe that I read and commented on this idea at the agetec forum. This version, however, seems to be much more thought out, and much less cliche. I like your story a lot, and this is a great alternative to the "these people sealed away someone and now that exactly 1000 years have passed, the dude is coming back."

I don't want to say my idea because I'm pretty sure you already have it planned (you probably know what I'm talking about, based on what was talked about in your other post about this) and I don't want to create some major spoilers for everyone else. I just want to say good job for ironing out some inconsistencies and presenting a much better story.

Can't wait to see it,

Doan the Nado

[Aaron]

Thanks alot guys. I reworked the story alot on regular paper, then went through all the cliches, then reworked, until I had what I have now. The story has many twists and turns in it as the player goes through the rest of the game. I think the player will enjoy the story very much, because it is not the ordinary "chase em down before they destroy the planet" crap that every one has played out already. I stepped back after everyone criticised and saw how boring the concept was for the most part. I kept what was useable, trashed what was too cliche to tolerate.

Here is a list of some characters:

Murdoch- The player's character. His personality is that of the player's. He is a blonde haired man from Tulka, the first town in the game. Everyone tells him he is no good, or he is a bad person because of his hair color.

Hesh- An ex-knight of the Government. He has quit his job as a knight because he is distraught about an event that has happened in the past. He is viewed as a drunk and unfriendly.

Valrock- A Draig purist who has been targeted as a thorn in the side of the government because of his radical equality demonstrations. He is reluctant to befriend any humans.

Noah- A weird farmer who has an extreme gabling problem. He is an expert marksman. Find out more about him while playing the game. I don't want to spoil the scenario for you guys.

Find out about the bad guys and other members through gameplay.
I can't bear to spoil the story very much.

[Deleted]

If you want me and Doan could go delete some maybe spoilers (DON'T LOOK OTHER PEOPLE! ) portions of our posts in the agetec forum, now that I think about it.

[Aaron]

You could do that if you want, but I'm not doing exactly what you guys said. I twisted it more.

[Doan the Nado]

I read through your character list (I somehow missed doing that before), and I like your collection of outcasts and hippy-esque people. They make for a good group to go against the grain and rise up. They have a sort of "familiar air" about them while maintaining originality and staying away from cliches.

Don't spoil the story, but I'm curious how your writing is coming. Do you have the majority of the game planned out already?

[Aaron]

Almost all of my game is planned out as of now. The characters above are modelled after friends of mine, which makes for better characters in my opinion. The quarks that are present in the real people they are made after sort of come out in them. It's weird. Noah is made after the funniest and weirdest guy I have ever met, so he's a really great character. Valrock is modelled after a guy named Daniel that I know that has pride and strength in his own character, Hesh is modelled after my dad and myself, so he's a jerk (from my dad), and his manners take after mine when I'm almost mad. It is fun to make your party and NPC's after real people because it makes them life-like. I know I'm not the first person to do this, but I think more people should do it.

[Deleted]

I kind of do that, but mostly after different aspects of myself. There are lots of similarities I often see between characters in my game and people I know or have known in real life. It does help to stay away from repeated cliches and make the characters more realistic.

[Aaron]

Here are some more character profiles that are better than the ones above.

Hesh:

Personality Traits: Quiet, distanced from others, to the point, criminalistic

Back story:

Hesh grew up in the western village of Rocklyn. He was the son of a farmer who was tragically left to the world of th living by his kind-hearted wife to suicide because she lost Hesh's seven year brother "Berse" to a case of high fever. Due to the extereme emotional pain of losing his wife and youngest son, Hesh's father "Herald" became distant and cold. He often abused Hesh both physically and mentally. This continued for several years.

At the legal age of fifteen, Hesh found a way to escape his abusive father by joining the military, hoping to gain knighthood. Soon after leaving the only home he knew, his dad was found dead of alcohol poisoning. Hesh thrived in the militaristic enviornment, gaining ranks right and left.


(I have omitted a large portion of the story for plot reasons.)

Hesh began working as a Mercenary and continued to until he met a bounty hunter named Murdoch one fateful day.

Valrock

Personality Traits: Proud, stubborn, compassionate, distrustful of humans, righteous

Backstory: Valrock was born to a large family of ^ brothers, 3 sisters. He was 103 years old when the "Republic" (human government) pushed his race from their lush land By order of Bane the Fifteenth. His entire race was stripped of their money for taxes, pushed to every end of the world, and soon fell into a depression. Later, Valrock became tired of seeing his race being opressed by the Republic, and stood up to fight against it. He organized a massive revolt and his revolutionist party put great pressure on the republic. They settled the whole revolution by offering a deal to the race. It consisted of Reservations, no taxes, the power to fashion their own government. The Draig society felt that this was enough, and foolishly took the deal.

(Omission)

Valrock is now a purist and the tiny, reserved strip of desert land serves as a reminder of the pain from his child hood.

Let me know what you think. More to came if anyone is interested.

[vespuleth]

valrocks quality of 'compassion' doesnt really fit in character. maybe 'passionate' is what you are aiming for?

other then that, i really didnt gather too much from the stories. i know that you were omitting for plot purposes, but i dont think whats left said very much. if you have more on these two or others, please share.

[Aaron]

I know that the stories sound like crap right now, but I didn't want to give away things that I am going to give the player throughout the game....I really shouldn't have even put the stories up the way they are right now. Plus I think I was trying to say that Valrock cares about others if they need his help. Thanks for the feedback. I'll probably end up putting more up that I left out earlier.