Post by Rodak on Jun 3, 2005 4:16:38 GMT -5
This was posted at The Pavilion while these boards were being updated, but I got so much more help here than elsewhere that I wanted to post it here too. I hope the few people who saw it there will understand.
I am finally posting this overview of my story so I can get thrown off the boards before uploading the game and finding out after the fact that I am just too bloody weird to be permitted to remain. Actual completion is still going to be close to September. Part One is now just waiting for me to finish scripting the Direct and Indirect Effects for the Abilities and Weapons/Items in the game. That means there are a few abilities or skills listed below I may not be able to create, but the list is my goal and I think they are all possible with RPGM2. There are one or two enemy actions I want to customize as well. I also need to make up a couple more spells to flesh out the classes to four spells at each of four "levels" of magic
First off, know that I do not care for normality. In form, function, and structure, normality is only a hindrance. The so-called "story" is mostly "stream of consciousness" as the game itself is really just a cover for a learning process. Making this is how I learned the RPGM2 System to the limited extent I have. Many story elements are forced. I had a scripting trick I either figured out, was told how to do (Thanks to All who have answered my questions on these boards), or just plain used from posted examples online. I found just nailing these scripts and events wherever I pleased to be amusing.
That is the point of this effort. To amuse. Once, upon criticism of my ideas, I had to remind the person that Role-Playing Games are only one third Role, but two thirds Playing Games. I started this game before I knew Internet Communities like this existed and was making it purely for myself. I continue to make it purely for myself, but if somebody else wants to subject themselves to it, they deserve this "fair warning" overview.
*****
Stop reading now or you may be damaged by exposure to shameless potty humor and really bad jokes.
*****
You have had your final warning.
Except for the fact that this description is full of "spoilers"
but I deemed them necessary to describing the story.
===============
SPOILER WARNING:
===============
It was hard to decide just which spoliers to leave out, so the description can be thought of as one giant spoiler.
Set in the World of Teddypenny, our focus is on the quaint little hamlet of Disgustinshmere. The Clean Underwear Quest begins with Dungdung. Dungdung is a sheep. There are very few humans in the game because I did not like the graphics and I watch enough Classic Looney Tunes to think this is acceptable behaviour (sometimes it is not enough to simply suspend disbelief, sometimes it must be expelled!).
I explain the scarcity of humans as being due to the fact that they suck. It is known that they once ruled the world, but they sucked so much that they are masters no longer. The Humans did, however, leave their mark upon the world in the forms of Religion and Beer. They are, according to legend, supposed to have built the Sacred Pyramids at the Sacred Poles of the planet, though many historians think humans sucked too much and the Pyramids must have been built by Cows (who the humans are thought to have eaten into extinction, but we know Enterbrain is to blame!! Why no Cows Enterbrain, WHY?). The Poopy Pyramid at the North Pole, The Piss Pyramid at the South Pole, The Beer Pyramid at the East Pole, The Marijuana Pyramid at The West Pole, and The Panty Pyramid at The Down Pole. The Up Pole is reported to be the home of these "peoples" God: The Divine Schnozola.
The Priests of Schnozola discourage research into the Up Pole out of fear of displacing some of Schnozolas' Sacred Nose Hairs which must remain undisturbed or else the souls of the dead will not be able to climb them and join Schnozola and their ancestors in Shangri-la-dee-dah.
Are you still there?
OK, good. I'll continue.
Dungdung is just finishing his training as a Poop Mage and must traverse the Sacred Poopy Pyramid in order to be officially accepted in the ranks of Poop Mages. He is allowed to take a companion and chooses his long time friend Slurry. Slurry is a Frenchman (his character was inspired by the Frenchmen in Monty Python and The Holy Grail and current stereotypes. I have nothing against the Frogs... French! I meant French. Yeah.).
Frenchmen are reputed to be fierce in battle, but this one seems relatively useless. All he seems to do is just yell random insults at the enemies in Battle. His character model is the pig (they did not have a playable frog).
They take their boat and set out on the perilous journey to the Sacred Pyramid. There is a simple multiple-choice-driven "puzzle-type" challenge and event battle to reach the Pyramid itself.
They fight their way through the Poopy Pyramid encountering such creatures as the Turdlings, Turds, Poo Bears, Poo Poodles, Angry Poopies, and more. When they finally reach the top..
-Cut to The Piss Pyramid-
Uriana (the ostrich character model) is in a similar situation to Dungdung. She is about to become a Piss Mage by traversing the Piss Pyramid. She chose as her companion Cobblepot. Cobblepot is a Politician and as such is skilled at fighting with swords and other weapons. Politicians also use their Political Skills to influence Enemy Behaviour (it's about time Politicians had to fight their own wars). He is equipped with his favorite Sword; The BiPartisan. And yes Batman Fans, any politician named Cobblepot uses The Penguin for a Character Model.
Together they traverse the Pee Pyramid encountering such creatures as the Piss Ant, Piss Pot (and it's companion; Micro Dot) (I warned you), Pee Bears, and more (there's even a Piss Ant lion).
They reach the top and meet The Piss Mages who were waiting for them. After an induction ceremony we ...
-Cut back to Disgustinshmere-
An evil Underwerewolf has taken all the Clean Underwear from Disgustinshmere! He is demanding enormous quantities of Fine Belgian Ale!! Duvel, Lindemans Peche, Cassis, Kreik and more! But all the beer ran away to the Sparse Forest when the Underwerewolf showed up. The people have tried to subdue some for the tribute, but the beer got Ornery and fought them off. Now the beer has gotten the Apple Trees drunk and they are protecting the beer from the inhabitants of Disgustinshmere.
-Cut back to Poopy Pyramid-
Dungdung and Slurry meet The Grand Poo-Bah for Dungdung's official acceptance as a Poop Mage. They return to Disgustinshmere.
On the way they meet Cobblepot and Uriana. The four join forces to fight off a crazy person.
When they arrive in town they find out about the Underwerewolf and are horrified to learn that there is no Beer! They want to go fight the evil forces, but decide it would be easier to reach the leader if they bring the required tribute of Fine Belgian Ale. So, it's off to the Sparse Forest for Beer Hunting.
At the entrance to the forest a strange lady offers to douse you in foul smelling schnootz to keep monsters away. It is optional, but makes the hunt easier (at the cost of gaining experience). There is a self-exiled writer living in the woods whose home acts as a base for healing and etc., but only if you buy his book of terrible poetry he calls The Book Of Poopies Volume One.
After subduing the required quantities of ale, the party returns to Disgustinshmere to rest and prepare to brace the enemy in their lair.
The ale is brought to the rendezvous (Thanks for the Spelling Correction Doan!) point and the party enters a dungeon. The presence of the ale allows them to access the second level of the dungeon (if they try before getting all the required ale the magic portal will not open, but they can "level up" if they like on the first floor).
After fighting the Underwerewolf, his boss shows up. It is the dreaded Underwear Dragon! He grabs the Ale and the Underwear and vanishes to the third level down in the dungeon. The party gives chase and ultimately confronts the Underwear Dragon in his lair. An epic battle for the Under Garments of an entire town ensues. It seems he drank the beer.
After beating him, of course, his father (a bigger dragon) arrives, takes the Underwear, and flies off. Now Disgustinshmere is out of Underwear and Beer as well!
There is only one course of action possible. Seek the mysterious Beer Pyramid and try to get the Beer Shipments restored to Disgustinshmere.
Meanwhile, emissaries from Panty Land (home of the Sacred Panty Pyramid) have arrived for the dirty underwear from Disgustinshmere. They seem awfully upset to hear that this is the last of the undergarments in the town. It seems this has been happening all over Teddypenny.
How will they keep the Glue Factories running without more dirty underwear for raw materials?
The situation is getting serious.
Our heroes take quick action. They set out for the Beer Pyramid.
After a harrowing journey they eventually discover the lost path to secret entrance of the Legendary Beer Pyramid. The path is populated by dangerous and silly monsters.
At the end is the Puzzle Room. There are three mind-bending, but similar, puzzles to solve. They get progressively more complicated. Not knowing my audience, I made these possibly too hard. So The Beer Demon will sell you the answers if you have lots of money. He explains that since this is the last bit of part one of the game you can sell everything you own because, due to the limitations of the system, you can not take your stuff and money with you to the next chapter. If you get stuck here, cheat. I did not lock up the scripts with a password. Just go in make yourself rich or trip the flags called "Puzzle 'X' Solved."
The Beer Demon then Attacks! This is purely contrived. I ran out of memory and wanted to give the player a "Final Boss Fight" for the end of Part One. Defeat the Beer Demon to open the portal to the Beer Pyramid and Chapter 2.
Part one ends.
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Part two is going to be a real challenge to complete in a timely manner. But it begins with the adventure in the Beer Pyramid.
I am seriously considering resetting everybody to level one as I will have a high experience curve and expect everybody to have earned all their abilities during part one. This game is intended to be a "quickie" in terms of actual playtime despite the long hours put into making it. Resetting to level one and using the fact that the beer portal may have gotten you drunk as an excuse would fit in nicely with my plan of creating all new visuals for the spells in chapter 2. I am having difficulty reproducing them exactly and the minor differences are more annoying than a whole new visual effect would be. Plus, I like making VFX and it's an excuse to make more.
It seems the monsters from the upper levels of the Beer Pyramid have raided the main distillery and taken the magic taps which gave forth limitless quantities of Fine Belgian Ale. The King of Beers promises to let you take one back to Disgustinshmere if you can only retrieve the set.
I already spoiled a lot of part one (which will be finished and uploaded before part two) so I won't say how, but Dungdung and friends leave with one of the taps. Next stop; Pantyland. They wanted to bring the tap home first but Slurry convinces them that they are so close to Pantyland now that they may as well go there first.
But there is a problem. They get blown off course by a storm and their boat is wrecked on the shores of a mysterious island. They see a city on top of a mountain and what looks like a big green pyramid! Could it be the Legendary Marijuana Pyramid? If so, Cobblepot says he must get inside as he has heard legends of a weapon called a Power Hitter that is supposed to be hidden inside. He says it is an extremely powerful artifact.
The path up the mountain ends near the base of the pyramid and there is a Giant Red-Indian stereotype character blocking the path to the entrance. The actual entrance is blocked by a giant, smoking fish. They are Big Chief Oozin-Gleet and Lox the Smoking Salmon. They are keeping people out of the Sacred Marijuana Pyramid because some Pale skins took the Heepa-Proust Tribe's Sacred Piece Pipe (not a spelling error).
The pale skins in question are a rogue group of Pigeons and Chickens who broke away from multi-colored civilization to live in an all white community they call The Happy Town of Prejudism. They now call themselves The Coo Clucks Clan (No death threats please, It's only a game for gawrsh sakes!).
The Clan put up a fight, but the key to the area where the Piece Pipe is stored can be won from the Clan Leader. There is still a small matter of getting the pipe away from the Tar Babies he has guarding it, but you should be able to figure it out.
With the Pipe you can now brave the Marijuana Pyramid, although it is optional. Another boat has magically washed up on shore for you where you crashed originally. I never did come up with a good excuse for that.
But if you skip the Marijuana Pyramid you'll miss fighting the various (4 different, all with custom Enemy Actions) Marijuana plants in the dungeon as well as the Drug House, and the Weed Dragon. Not to mention that Iconic Weapon, The Power Hitter. And I hid a Bonus Animation inside as well.
Anyway, you are now free to go to Pantyland. Ahhh, but mystery abounds there. The Panty Queen seems to have been deposed by the mysterious Panty Christ. They are having the same troubles as Disgustinshmere and the glue factories are all closed. The Royal Chambermaid greets you and seeks your help discovering what the Panty Christ is up to. There must be a connection between what's happening here and the world wide rash of underwear problems.
This is the cerebral bit of the game. You get to search Pantyland for clues, which lead you to the Panty Pyramid. After fighting through the Panty Pyramid you get the evidence you need to expose The Panty Christ as a conspirator in the Underwear plot. When you confront him, a fight ensues in which you can win the most powerful defensive item in the game: The Panty Shield!
As he dies he tells you about the ultimate cause of the Underwear Blight. It is the Evil Doctor Denton.
He is outraged that the Underwear he designed has fallen out of fashion and wants revenge on the world!
Is your party powerful enough to stop him?
Will I ever shut up?
Are you still there?
Oy.
The game ends with the restoration of Undergarments to all of Teddypenny.
If you completed certain side quests there is a bonus dungeon after the game which resolves a plot thread I did not mention because it was just an aside to the game at first. It is about the God these "people" worship; The Divine Schnozola! (The Horizon is round like His Nostrils! The Heavens Glisten like His Mucous!) and whether he is real. I could not make a game where you didn't get to kill GOD!
There is also a prison scene on which I did a lot of work (I used it to teach myself some cut scene tricks) because I was sure these folks would get arrested somewhere, but I have not worked it in yet.
And there is this Giant Chicken God who has been showing up throughout the game sporadically too. It is part of another side quest, which may force all bonus material into a third chapter, if it grows too large.
Before reading the next bit, be aware that the proper definition of Cock is "A Rooster." It is even used in The Bible that way ("...and the cock crowed three times..."). In the following sentence the word Cock means Rooster, and only Rooster, and nothing else. OK? It seems this Chicken God needs help in it's own dimension to depose a Big Red Cock that broke free of it's Cock Ring and is taking over the Dosed Dimension (Dosed being an Old Hippie reference to being under the influence of hallucinogenic substances)! The Cock Ring was hidden somewhere in Teddypenny and you must find it. Then go to Dosed Land to beat off the Big Red Cock! Return to Teddypenny so The Chicken God can return home and rule once more.
Oy, again.
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=============================
Tributes:
Teddypenny is a Vaughn Bode tribute. In Cobalt 60 there was a character that was "The Ambassador from Nickypoo-Teddypenny South."
Junkwaffel #4 is a Vaughn Bode Magazine Sized Comic. It is a weapon in the game; The rolled up magazine!
==============================
Classes and Abilities: (not complete) (I want 4 spells for each "level" of magic)
=======
Frenchman: No known Skills or Abilities, although they claim to possess many.
=======
Poop Mage: Wields Excremental Forces. Spells include;
Level 1:
Bloosh: Damage Enemy
Fiber: Recover 33% HP; Single Party Member
Level 2:
Enema: Recover 66% HP and 33% MP
Level 3:
Brown Shower: Douse Enemies with Poop
High Colonic: Recover 99% HP and 66% MP
Level 4:
Dung Beetle: Summon Giant Dung Beetle to Fight for Party
Heavens Poopies: Rain Poopies From Heaven upon all enemies
Seal Sphincter: Plug up enemy butt-hole; they explode in 3 turns
=======
Piss Mage: Wields Excremental Forces. Spells include;
Level 1:
Golden Shower: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Stone: Damage Enemy and Self
Urinalysis: See Enemy HP and Weaknesses
Level 2:
Kidney Stones: Damage all Enemies and Self
Yellow Streak: Escape Battle; Whole Party
Catheter: Drain MP from Enemy
Level 3:
Golden Storm: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Boulder: Damage all Enemies and Self
Whirlpiss: Guess
Level 4:
Golden Tsunami: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Meteor: Damage all Enemies and Self
Urinium Fission: Most Powerful Piss Magic
Burst Bladder: Enemy Bladder Explodes; Instant Kill
=======
Politician: Uses Political Skills to influence Enemy Behaviour
This is the only Class where the Titles are worth listing:
1 Politician
2 Mayor
3 Governor
4 Senator
5 Congressman
6 Speaker Of The House
7 Vice President
8 President
***********
Political Skills: Magic Property; Rhetoric
Speech: Put Enemy to Sleep
Lobby: Confuse Enemy
Bribe: Random; Either Politician pays monster to go away or monster pays politician to go away (yes, he'll abandon the party)
Speech Level 2: Put all Enemies to Sleep
Lobby Level 2: Confuse all Enemies
Filibuster: Delay Enemy Actions
Power Grab: Reduce Enemy Strength and add it to your own (not permanent)
Vanish: Vice Presidential Skill; Become Undetectable in Battle
Treaty: Presidential Skill; Make Peace with Enemies; Ends Battle
========================
Selected Accessories and Items:
Savatron: Save Game on any map, anywhere
Cock Ring: Key Item
Butt Plug: Lowers Agility; Raises All Other Stats
Sticky Amulet: Raises Magic but is Cursed
Groucho Glasses: View Enemy HP
Smellin' Shnootz: Shnootz so foul it can wake the dead!
Schnozola Booger: Restores HP
Outhouse: For Potty Emergencies; Heals/Revives entire Party (world map item)
Battle Outhouse: For Potty Emergencies in Battle
Instant Coffee: Haste Effect
========================
Toys:
Conductor Baton: Control Background Music
Fly Swatter: Shows Debug Menu; May not use in game
==========================
Weapons:
BiPartisan: A Sword
Paper Knife: Great for Frosting Cakes
Chucking Spear: Sorry
Pointed Stick: Better than Fresh Fruit!
Rolled Magazine: Junkwaffel #4!
Imaginary Sword: Very Lightweight!
Power Hitter: WOW!
==========================
Armor:
Pajamas: Basic Armor
Footy Pajamas: Improved Armor
Plastic Pants: Protects against Excremental Forces
==========================
Helmets:
Styrofoam Nose: Long Styrofoam Nose; Protects in Battle
==========================
Shields:
Panty Shield: ...
===========================
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Well, there are obviously many more silly items to come so stay tuned for that.
I'm curious if anybody would bother to play such a game as this.
A demo will be posted within two weeks. If I can not get the silly modifications to the battle system running smoothly within that time, I'll just post some animations or the puzzle room or something so you can get a better idea of what I have done here.
And a Great Big Final "OY!"
I am finally posting this overview of my story so I can get thrown off the boards before uploading the game and finding out after the fact that I am just too bloody weird to be permitted to remain. Actual completion is still going to be close to September. Part One is now just waiting for me to finish scripting the Direct and Indirect Effects for the Abilities and Weapons/Items in the game. That means there are a few abilities or skills listed below I may not be able to create, but the list is my goal and I think they are all possible with RPGM2. There are one or two enemy actions I want to customize as well. I also need to make up a couple more spells to flesh out the classes to four spells at each of four "levels" of magic
First off, know that I do not care for normality. In form, function, and structure, normality is only a hindrance. The so-called "story" is mostly "stream of consciousness" as the game itself is really just a cover for a learning process. Making this is how I learned the RPGM2 System to the limited extent I have. Many story elements are forced. I had a scripting trick I either figured out, was told how to do (Thanks to All who have answered my questions on these boards), or just plain used from posted examples online. I found just nailing these scripts and events wherever I pleased to be amusing.
That is the point of this effort. To amuse. Once, upon criticism of my ideas, I had to remind the person that Role-Playing Games are only one third Role, but two thirds Playing Games. I started this game before I knew Internet Communities like this existed and was making it purely for myself. I continue to make it purely for myself, but if somebody else wants to subject themselves to it, they deserve this "fair warning" overview.
*****
Stop reading now or you may be damaged by exposure to shameless potty humor and really bad jokes.
*****
You have had your final warning.
Except for the fact that this description is full of "spoilers"
but I deemed them necessary to describing the story.
===============
SPOILER WARNING:
===============
It was hard to decide just which spoliers to leave out, so the description can be thought of as one giant spoiler.
Set in the World of Teddypenny, our focus is on the quaint little hamlet of Disgustinshmere. The Clean Underwear Quest begins with Dungdung. Dungdung is a sheep. There are very few humans in the game because I did not like the graphics and I watch enough Classic Looney Tunes to think this is acceptable behaviour (sometimes it is not enough to simply suspend disbelief, sometimes it must be expelled!).
I explain the scarcity of humans as being due to the fact that they suck. It is known that they once ruled the world, but they sucked so much that they are masters no longer. The Humans did, however, leave their mark upon the world in the forms of Religion and Beer. They are, according to legend, supposed to have built the Sacred Pyramids at the Sacred Poles of the planet, though many historians think humans sucked too much and the Pyramids must have been built by Cows (who the humans are thought to have eaten into extinction, but we know Enterbrain is to blame!! Why no Cows Enterbrain, WHY?). The Poopy Pyramid at the North Pole, The Piss Pyramid at the South Pole, The Beer Pyramid at the East Pole, The Marijuana Pyramid at The West Pole, and The Panty Pyramid at The Down Pole. The Up Pole is reported to be the home of these "peoples" God: The Divine Schnozola.
The Priests of Schnozola discourage research into the Up Pole out of fear of displacing some of Schnozolas' Sacred Nose Hairs which must remain undisturbed or else the souls of the dead will not be able to climb them and join Schnozola and their ancestors in Shangri-la-dee-dah.
Are you still there?
OK, good. I'll continue.
Dungdung is just finishing his training as a Poop Mage and must traverse the Sacred Poopy Pyramid in order to be officially accepted in the ranks of Poop Mages. He is allowed to take a companion and chooses his long time friend Slurry. Slurry is a Frenchman (his character was inspired by the Frenchmen in Monty Python and The Holy Grail and current stereotypes. I have nothing against the Frogs... French! I meant French. Yeah.).
Frenchmen are reputed to be fierce in battle, but this one seems relatively useless. All he seems to do is just yell random insults at the enemies in Battle. His character model is the pig (they did not have a playable frog).
They take their boat and set out on the perilous journey to the Sacred Pyramid. There is a simple multiple-choice-driven "puzzle-type" challenge and event battle to reach the Pyramid itself.
They fight their way through the Poopy Pyramid encountering such creatures as the Turdlings, Turds, Poo Bears, Poo Poodles, Angry Poopies, and more. When they finally reach the top..
-Cut to The Piss Pyramid-
Uriana (the ostrich character model) is in a similar situation to Dungdung. She is about to become a Piss Mage by traversing the Piss Pyramid. She chose as her companion Cobblepot. Cobblepot is a Politician and as such is skilled at fighting with swords and other weapons. Politicians also use their Political Skills to influence Enemy Behaviour (it's about time Politicians had to fight their own wars). He is equipped with his favorite Sword; The BiPartisan. And yes Batman Fans, any politician named Cobblepot uses The Penguin for a Character Model.
Together they traverse the Pee Pyramid encountering such creatures as the Piss Ant, Piss Pot (and it's companion; Micro Dot) (I warned you), Pee Bears, and more (there's even a Piss Ant lion).
They reach the top and meet The Piss Mages who were waiting for them. After an induction ceremony we ...
-Cut back to Disgustinshmere-
An evil Underwerewolf has taken all the Clean Underwear from Disgustinshmere! He is demanding enormous quantities of Fine Belgian Ale!! Duvel, Lindemans Peche, Cassis, Kreik and more! But all the beer ran away to the Sparse Forest when the Underwerewolf showed up. The people have tried to subdue some for the tribute, but the beer got Ornery and fought them off. Now the beer has gotten the Apple Trees drunk and they are protecting the beer from the inhabitants of Disgustinshmere.
-Cut back to Poopy Pyramid-
Dungdung and Slurry meet The Grand Poo-Bah for Dungdung's official acceptance as a Poop Mage. They return to Disgustinshmere.
On the way they meet Cobblepot and Uriana. The four join forces to fight off a crazy person.
When they arrive in town they find out about the Underwerewolf and are horrified to learn that there is no Beer! They want to go fight the evil forces, but decide it would be easier to reach the leader if they bring the required tribute of Fine Belgian Ale. So, it's off to the Sparse Forest for Beer Hunting.
At the entrance to the forest a strange lady offers to douse you in foul smelling schnootz to keep monsters away. It is optional, but makes the hunt easier (at the cost of gaining experience). There is a self-exiled writer living in the woods whose home acts as a base for healing and etc., but only if you buy his book of terrible poetry he calls The Book Of Poopies Volume One.
After subduing the required quantities of ale, the party returns to Disgustinshmere to rest and prepare to brace the enemy in their lair.
The ale is brought to the rendezvous (Thanks for the Spelling Correction Doan!) point and the party enters a dungeon. The presence of the ale allows them to access the second level of the dungeon (if they try before getting all the required ale the magic portal will not open, but they can "level up" if they like on the first floor).
After fighting the Underwerewolf, his boss shows up. It is the dreaded Underwear Dragon! He grabs the Ale and the Underwear and vanishes to the third level down in the dungeon. The party gives chase and ultimately confronts the Underwear Dragon in his lair. An epic battle for the Under Garments of an entire town ensues. It seems he drank the beer.
After beating him, of course, his father (a bigger dragon) arrives, takes the Underwear, and flies off. Now Disgustinshmere is out of Underwear and Beer as well!
There is only one course of action possible. Seek the mysterious Beer Pyramid and try to get the Beer Shipments restored to Disgustinshmere.
Meanwhile, emissaries from Panty Land (home of the Sacred Panty Pyramid) have arrived for the dirty underwear from Disgustinshmere. They seem awfully upset to hear that this is the last of the undergarments in the town. It seems this has been happening all over Teddypenny.
How will they keep the Glue Factories running without more dirty underwear for raw materials?
The situation is getting serious.
Our heroes take quick action. They set out for the Beer Pyramid.
After a harrowing journey they eventually discover the lost path to secret entrance of the Legendary Beer Pyramid. The path is populated by dangerous and silly monsters.
At the end is the Puzzle Room. There are three mind-bending, but similar, puzzles to solve. They get progressively more complicated. Not knowing my audience, I made these possibly too hard. So The Beer Demon will sell you the answers if you have lots of money. He explains that since this is the last bit of part one of the game you can sell everything you own because, due to the limitations of the system, you can not take your stuff and money with you to the next chapter. If you get stuck here, cheat. I did not lock up the scripts with a password. Just go in make yourself rich or trip the flags called "Puzzle 'X' Solved."
The Beer Demon then Attacks! This is purely contrived. I ran out of memory and wanted to give the player a "Final Boss Fight" for the end of Part One. Defeat the Beer Demon to open the portal to the Beer Pyramid and Chapter 2.
Part one ends.
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Part two is going to be a real challenge to complete in a timely manner. But it begins with the adventure in the Beer Pyramid.
I am seriously considering resetting everybody to level one as I will have a high experience curve and expect everybody to have earned all their abilities during part one. This game is intended to be a "quickie" in terms of actual playtime despite the long hours put into making it. Resetting to level one and using the fact that the beer portal may have gotten you drunk as an excuse would fit in nicely with my plan of creating all new visuals for the spells in chapter 2. I am having difficulty reproducing them exactly and the minor differences are more annoying than a whole new visual effect would be. Plus, I like making VFX and it's an excuse to make more.
It seems the monsters from the upper levels of the Beer Pyramid have raided the main distillery and taken the magic taps which gave forth limitless quantities of Fine Belgian Ale. The King of Beers promises to let you take one back to Disgustinshmere if you can only retrieve the set.
I already spoiled a lot of part one (which will be finished and uploaded before part two) so I won't say how, but Dungdung and friends leave with one of the taps. Next stop; Pantyland. They wanted to bring the tap home first but Slurry convinces them that they are so close to Pantyland now that they may as well go there first.
But there is a problem. They get blown off course by a storm and their boat is wrecked on the shores of a mysterious island. They see a city on top of a mountain and what looks like a big green pyramid! Could it be the Legendary Marijuana Pyramid? If so, Cobblepot says he must get inside as he has heard legends of a weapon called a Power Hitter that is supposed to be hidden inside. He says it is an extremely powerful artifact.
The path up the mountain ends near the base of the pyramid and there is a Giant Red-Indian stereotype character blocking the path to the entrance. The actual entrance is blocked by a giant, smoking fish. They are Big Chief Oozin-Gleet and Lox the Smoking Salmon. They are keeping people out of the Sacred Marijuana Pyramid because some Pale skins took the Heepa-Proust Tribe's Sacred Piece Pipe (not a spelling error).
The pale skins in question are a rogue group of Pigeons and Chickens who broke away from multi-colored civilization to live in an all white community they call The Happy Town of Prejudism. They now call themselves The Coo Clucks Clan (No death threats please, It's only a game for gawrsh sakes!).
The Clan put up a fight, but the key to the area where the Piece Pipe is stored can be won from the Clan Leader. There is still a small matter of getting the pipe away from the Tar Babies he has guarding it, but you should be able to figure it out.
With the Pipe you can now brave the Marijuana Pyramid, although it is optional. Another boat has magically washed up on shore for you where you crashed originally. I never did come up with a good excuse for that.
But if you skip the Marijuana Pyramid you'll miss fighting the various (4 different, all with custom Enemy Actions) Marijuana plants in the dungeon as well as the Drug House, and the Weed Dragon. Not to mention that Iconic Weapon, The Power Hitter. And I hid a Bonus Animation inside as well.
Anyway, you are now free to go to Pantyland. Ahhh, but mystery abounds there. The Panty Queen seems to have been deposed by the mysterious Panty Christ. They are having the same troubles as Disgustinshmere and the glue factories are all closed. The Royal Chambermaid greets you and seeks your help discovering what the Panty Christ is up to. There must be a connection between what's happening here and the world wide rash of underwear problems.
This is the cerebral bit of the game. You get to search Pantyland for clues, which lead you to the Panty Pyramid. After fighting through the Panty Pyramid you get the evidence you need to expose The Panty Christ as a conspirator in the Underwear plot. When you confront him, a fight ensues in which you can win the most powerful defensive item in the game: The Panty Shield!
As he dies he tells you about the ultimate cause of the Underwear Blight. It is the Evil Doctor Denton.
He is outraged that the Underwear he designed has fallen out of fashion and wants revenge on the world!
Is your party powerful enough to stop him?
Will I ever shut up?
Are you still there?
Oy.
The game ends with the restoration of Undergarments to all of Teddypenny.
If you completed certain side quests there is a bonus dungeon after the game which resolves a plot thread I did not mention because it was just an aside to the game at first. It is about the God these "people" worship; The Divine Schnozola! (The Horizon is round like His Nostrils! The Heavens Glisten like His Mucous!) and whether he is real. I could not make a game where you didn't get to kill GOD!
There is also a prison scene on which I did a lot of work (I used it to teach myself some cut scene tricks) because I was sure these folks would get arrested somewhere, but I have not worked it in yet.
And there is this Giant Chicken God who has been showing up throughout the game sporadically too. It is part of another side quest, which may force all bonus material into a third chapter, if it grows too large.
Before reading the next bit, be aware that the proper definition of Cock is "A Rooster." It is even used in The Bible that way ("...and the cock crowed three times..."). In the following sentence the word Cock means Rooster, and only Rooster, and nothing else. OK? It seems this Chicken God needs help in it's own dimension to depose a Big Red Cock that broke free of it's Cock Ring and is taking over the Dosed Dimension (Dosed being an Old Hippie reference to being under the influence of hallucinogenic substances)! The Cock Ring was hidden somewhere in Teddypenny and you must find it. Then go to Dosed Land to beat off the Big Red Cock! Return to Teddypenny so The Chicken God can return home and rule once more.
Oy, again.
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Tributes:
Teddypenny is a Vaughn Bode tribute. In Cobalt 60 there was a character that was "The Ambassador from Nickypoo-Teddypenny South."
Junkwaffel #4 is a Vaughn Bode Magazine Sized Comic. It is a weapon in the game; The rolled up magazine!
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Classes and Abilities: (not complete) (I want 4 spells for each "level" of magic)
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Frenchman: No known Skills or Abilities, although they claim to possess many.
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Poop Mage: Wields Excremental Forces. Spells include;
Level 1:
Bloosh: Damage Enemy
Fiber: Recover 33% HP; Single Party Member
Level 2:
Enema: Recover 66% HP and 33% MP
Level 3:
Brown Shower: Douse Enemies with Poop
High Colonic: Recover 99% HP and 66% MP
Level 4:
Dung Beetle: Summon Giant Dung Beetle to Fight for Party
Heavens Poopies: Rain Poopies From Heaven upon all enemies
Seal Sphincter: Plug up enemy butt-hole; they explode in 3 turns
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Piss Mage: Wields Excremental Forces. Spells include;
Level 1:
Golden Shower: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Stone: Damage Enemy and Self
Urinalysis: See Enemy HP and Weaknesses
Level 2:
Kidney Stones: Damage all Enemies and Self
Yellow Streak: Escape Battle; Whole Party
Catheter: Drain MP from Enemy
Level 3:
Golden Storm: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Boulder: Damage all Enemies and Self
Whirlpiss: Guess
Level 4:
Golden Tsunami: Damage all Enemies
Kidney Meteor: Damage all Enemies and Self
Urinium Fission: Most Powerful Piss Magic
Burst Bladder: Enemy Bladder Explodes; Instant Kill
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Politician: Uses Political Skills to influence Enemy Behaviour
This is the only Class where the Titles are worth listing:
1 Politician
2 Mayor
3 Governor
4 Senator
5 Congressman
6 Speaker Of The House
7 Vice President
8 President
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Political Skills: Magic Property; Rhetoric
Speech: Put Enemy to Sleep
Lobby: Confuse Enemy
Bribe: Random; Either Politician pays monster to go away or monster pays politician to go away (yes, he'll abandon the party)
Speech Level 2: Put all Enemies to Sleep
Lobby Level 2: Confuse all Enemies
Filibuster: Delay Enemy Actions
Power Grab: Reduce Enemy Strength and add it to your own (not permanent)
Vanish: Vice Presidential Skill; Become Undetectable in Battle
Treaty: Presidential Skill; Make Peace with Enemies; Ends Battle
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Selected Accessories and Items:
Savatron: Save Game on any map, anywhere
Cock Ring: Key Item
Butt Plug: Lowers Agility; Raises All Other Stats
Sticky Amulet: Raises Magic but is Cursed
Groucho Glasses: View Enemy HP
Smellin' Shnootz: Shnootz so foul it can wake the dead!
Schnozola Booger: Restores HP
Outhouse: For Potty Emergencies; Heals/Revives entire Party (world map item)
Battle Outhouse: For Potty Emergencies in Battle
Instant Coffee: Haste Effect
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Toys:
Conductor Baton: Control Background Music
Fly Swatter: Shows Debug Menu; May not use in game
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Weapons:
BiPartisan: A Sword
Paper Knife: Great for Frosting Cakes
Chucking Spear: Sorry
Pointed Stick: Better than Fresh Fruit!
Rolled Magazine: Junkwaffel #4!
Imaginary Sword: Very Lightweight!
Power Hitter: WOW!
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Armor:
Pajamas: Basic Armor
Footy Pajamas: Improved Armor
Plastic Pants: Protects against Excremental Forces
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Helmets:
Styrofoam Nose: Long Styrofoam Nose; Protects in Battle
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Shields:
Panty Shield: ...
===========================
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Well, there are obviously many more silly items to come so stay tuned for that.
I'm curious if anybody would bother to play such a game as this.
A demo will be posted within two weeks. If I can not get the silly modifications to the battle system running smoothly within that time, I'll just post some animations or the puzzle room or something so you can get a better idea of what I have done here.
And a Great Big Final "OY!"
).