Endless Dreams: Book One

[The Final Rune]

Please post all future replys to my CBS in the Endless Dreams: The Battle System topic.

Thanks and sorry for any confusion.

[Doan the Nado]

No problem. It sounds like your story is well thought out, as you can specifically describe scenes in a very imaginative manner. Reading them, I think they would make wonderful cutscenes, so if you are willing to put in the extra time to make some good cutscenes, I think your game has some wonderful potential. Your writing is good, but no one wants to read an entire game (while playing it, I mean). I hope you can convey the same suspense and action through cutscenes in your game as you did in your writing here.

[The Final Rune]

This is of course my biggest fear. I have all these scenes planned out in my head, and I hope I can script them properly.

Thankfully I have you guys to help should I get stuck along the way.

[The Final Rune]

After returning home the man that rescued Avalon and Rafe is brought into Uncle George's office. Avalon, rattled from Aunt Mary's yelling is happy for the relief when he's invited in to speak with the man. He intorduces himself as Marcus Drift, an explorer and adventurer. Avalon, in obvious awe from the man's earlier performance is speechless. George, trained from his years as mayor takes the lead and introduces himself and Avalon and richly thanks Marcus for his aid. Marcus says it was of no consequence and that any adventurer of quality would have responded in the same way. Avalon finally sputters out a thank you and leaves George and Marcus to their conversation. Avalon, his ears sore from his tongue lashing and his head aching from his earlier encounter, calls it a day and returns to his room to get some much needed sleep. His dreams no doubt will be filled with fantasies from the many things he'd seen today.

[Doan the Nado]

The game's beginning is setting up nicely. I like the way that you have believably brought in a powerful character right from the start to get the player excited about playing the game. I also like where you're going with the main character, as it seems quite realistic for someone to feel the way Avalon does: speechless.

I will be interested in how you will now create a situation that will force Avalon to "take on the bad guys". Sure he's adventuresome, but is he brave and bold enough to look for fights? Good luck with this aspect, although I'm guessing that you already have a plan for it.

[The Final Rune]

See, this is the kind of feedback I like! I like this, but what about that? Thought provoking responses are helpfull in forcing me to analyse my game, to make sure I've covered all my bases, and that I haven't left my shrivelled meat balls out in the cold.

What drives our hero? Always a good question. One for which I have an answer, but won't give you. You see, Avalon's drive comes from a pivitol loint in the plot, and sharing it would severely lessen its impact later. But, I can say this about the game, Avalon is no hero, he's an adventurer, and while later in his life (details in the second game) he will become a great hero/anti-hero, in this time period he is simply following instinct and his heart.