urian: a type of animal that looks like a chicken mixed with an turkey.
Sheole: A gate way between heaven and hell that passes through to the dark world of taizon. Its like you can see the Heavans above you and Hell Below you.
[intro] Ioan 17, 1467 It's is a beautiful day through out taizon, two sun's one orange and yellow, the other is blue and orange. King James the III has made a law against taxing the poor. Many people seem to agree, but others didn't care. Today was the day He and his wife were going to get their vows renewed. I was just a boy at the time around the age of 14, I knew nothing of war and never knew my mother. I live with my father in a town called troy; it’s a small town nonetheless but a peace full town. I was a friend with Ilpallazo the prince of taizon. We would always get into to trouble. We have been friends ever since I saved him from some bullies. Later that night at the ceremony the whole kingdom was there. King James and Queen Anna started to say their vows then suddenly there was a rumble through the palace. Plates, bottles, and the whole building were trembling. I peered into the sky to see what was going on. This earthquake was tremendouse, I couldn't hold my stance. Then it stop, everthing was silent, everyone was looking around to see if they were okay. Then suddenly a strange man enter the palace. King James ordered to know who he was. He was wearing a dark cloak, with a golden rope tied around his waist with a skull on it. His eyes were glowing red; he had a wicked smile on his face, smiling as if he were a god. Then he said I am Megas and I declare war upon Central Taizon and the taizonian kingdom. The King looked at him and bursted out laughing and so did the others.
King James: You want to declare war on central taizon. HA! You and what army? There's are more kings ruling over the world of taizon but taking over central taizon would be a great task.
Megas: Oh. Don't you see my army, look closer. A great task can be done with my power.
King James: (trembling with fear) What! That can't be. No! What the Hell is happening.
Shadows came from every where taking forms of demons. The demons were ferocious, angry, and psychotic creatures that would kill with out a reason.
Megas: Ha Ha Ha ha! (laughing hsyterically) Now to start this war I must take a life of someone very close to you, someone very dear.
King James: NO! Wait we can settle this out like men. Please don't do this we can make peace.
Megas: Hmm. I know who's life I will take.
Within an instance he teleported near King James wife. Grabbed her waist very tight, his right hand began to glow with purple like ball, rotating around until it turned to crimson red. Then with a wicked smile on his face he fired the ball through her face.
King James: (terrified) No.... ah NOOOOO!
Prince Ilpallazo: Mother! Mother no it can’t, be how could this happen, how could you do something like that.
The prince was furious, he watched his mother get slaughtered by a deranged man. His memories of her flash forward through his mind wondering why did this happen. Suddenly he snapped he unsheathes his sword and said you will pay for what you have done. He jumped into the air and stuck his sword at Magus. Magus threw him back. The prince called upon his magical power and he had defeated 6 shadow demons. Once that had happened the soldiers came in. There was a fierce battle in the palace.
Soldier1: Alright men We must get the king and the citizens out of this castle and into the airships.
Soldier2: What about the demons what do we do bout them?
Soldier1: I'll stay behind to fight them, now let’s go.
King James: These beasts killed my precious wife. IN NAME OF TAIZON I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE. (He grabs his sword) Take this you foul beast, feel my wrath of anger. You won't escape me Magus.
Megas: Not here. You see I killed your wife now I must do another deed, open the gates of Sheole and set my minions free.
I saw what has happened. I never knew of anything this evil. In a hurry a guard grabbed me and I fainted. Now it is morning we're all in the taizon castle. The king was beginning to make a speech.
King James: In this time of hour 2 cities of ours and our loved ones have been slain. I hate to say this but I will declare war on this unknown country. I have sent a spy to see which country is it. But in the mean time I must tell you those who want revenge join my army, I can't promise if I can keep all of you alive but I will do my best. No I will do my Hardest, as I also will join the War.
The citizens gasped.
I went outside to talk the prince but he was still angry and in grief. My father, John McKnight, said let's go back home this war has nothing to do with us. I noticed that he had a necklace on. I had asked him where did he get it he told me that it was my mothers; it was very dear to him. Meanwhile later that evening we were having supper. There was pasta, roast urian, and bread. Father heard a noise outside. He went to get his sword and to go check it out. I was just finishing up supper it was very delicious.
John: Who is out here? Come on out and I’ll spare your life.
(Noises in the bushes)
A shadow like creature appeared then took form of a taizonian. He appeared to be searching for something. Looking around sniffing, he had no eyes at all, he was blind as a bat.
Shadow like creature: (sniffing) Ah. It’s you I seek. Give me that necklace and I shall give you and your son a quick death.
John: Never! You can’t have it.
Shadow like creature: Have your way. (Attacks John)
I looked out the window to see what was happening. My father was fighting a creature; it must be a demon. I went outside and took my sword with me. My father was on the ground when I got there. The demon had left.
John: My son Crono you have to avenge me. (Hurting with pain)
Crono: What did he do to you? Where is that necklace?
John: The necklace is just a key to unlock a gate. Get my key back and avenge your mother’s death and me.
Crono: Who killed my mother?
John: It was *cough* Megas.
Slowly my father died. I buried him next to his house by his favorite tree. Knowing that I’m just a boy there isn’t a way for me to avenge him.
Last Edit: Jul 1, 2005 13:10:21 GMT -5 by WarDragon
Post by Doan the Nado on Dec 16, 2004 5:07:29 GMT -5
It's an intriguing opening to a game. It could work well as long as the shadows and the significance of why it occurred on the chosen day (hopefully not coincidence) are explained at some point in the game. I would also need a good reason why this young boy is friends with the prince. Also, I'm not a grammar stickler on this board, but I really hope your game's text is a little better than the post you gave.
If you can do those things, I think you have a good game on your hands.
the boy is friends with the prince because they met in a town, there was some boys picking on the prince. Big tall boys they look like they were men. But anyway he picked up a stick ans started fighting the boys one by one showing amazing strength. The prince like what he had saw and decided to have him as a body guard. But as luck would have it they ended up as friends.
Post by JimmyPaladin on Dec 16, 2004 15:45:59 GMT -5
Yes, this is very good indeed. I'd say perhaps hold off on this scene, as it'll involve a lot of good graphics and coordination, and such. I'm glad to see that even though you're using Crono and Magus as names it's a different story, although I do think it would do it better for them to have different names. Nonetheless, very good intro story, and now I'm looking forward to your game. Is there anything else you'll be telling us about it?
Post by Dark Knight Of Lodis on Apr 21, 2005 21:35:36 GMT -5
This is three months after the post, but lately I've been reading everyone's personal forums and I thought I'd throw my opinion in, just in case it could still help you. You said that there were some older boys picking on the prince and that the main character came along and helped him out. Why would they be picking on the prince? Wouldn't they be terrified of what the consequences of insulting a member of the royal family would be?
On the following morning I left my house and when into hiding. For several months I have been sleeping outside in the harsh cold forest waiting for the war to end. A month later I stumbled across a village with a peaceful surrounding. I went in hoping that this place could help me. I spoke with the leader of the group and he said it was allright for me to stay. Two weeks felt like two years of heaven here, I never felt so free and happy, but I kinda had a strange feeling about this place. I watched the leader of this town. He was an manipulating self absored power hungry maniac.
He thought that if a person doesn't agree right away with him then they must perish. It's sickening that he is a self proclaimed dictator of an non existing army. I'd never thought this was true but one day I found out.
Crono: (walks through the town) Hi how you're doing Mr. Rev.
Mr. Rev: Uhh I'm good. Really good, Did you hear what Hazoku had to say.
Crono: No I didn't, is it bad? Should I be worried?
Mr. Rev: Well it very well depends. He told us that some lurkers and drifters came by. They've been stealing some very important equipment that He has purchased. They're selling it for 3/4 of the price he paid for and even giving it away for free.
Crono: What is the name of the equipmnent?
Mr. Rev: Rekam!
Crono: Rekam? I've heard of this. But How could he get this if it was banned from central taizon?
Mr. Rev: That's the funny thing He didn't. Sorry Crono But I must go. Saying too much could get me in trouble.
Crono: Okay take care.
As I wonder what was happening a few most trusted members of his group are telling everyone that there are a couple of townsmen stealing equipment. Mr. Rev and alot of others were persecuted. Alienated from their group.
I can see no one likes this Hazoku. I can understand that no one wants to be alienated for standing up for themselves. No! that's not it. It goes deeper than this. To play with someone's mind while gather all the info he needs he lashes out attacks and make it seem like you're to blame. I went to Hazoku Cabin. The area seemed dark and damped with a few trees blowing light in from above. I knocked on his door and ask his housekeeper could I speak with him.
Hazoku: Well Crono what an unexpected suprise. What can I do for you?
Crono: I have some questions.
Hazoku: Ask away, as long as it's not very personal.
Crono: Okay question one how did you buy rekam when it's not for sale here and it's illegal to have?
Hazoku: I don't know what you're talkingg about but I have been using rekam for a long time and I have full rights to use it.
Crono: If that's so true how could you tell someone that it's illegal for them to use this rekam without having proof of such usage?
Hazoku: Look I don't have to answer that question It's simply common sense. I've purchased it as well as several others, no one can deny me access of using this. Rekam made our community a safe place to live but it's when someone else has our Rekam we have to punish them.
Crono: You know damn well you didn't buy rekam but use your power of the people to control our minds. As far as I've heard that rekam was used to protect villages until an unfortunate accident happened and someone stole several rekams and made duplicates. Easily Distribute them to someone else and then turn around accusing them for commiting a dangerous crime.
Hazoku: You son of a bitch! You've found out my secret. Oh well There's no use in telling anyone, I have power and you are just one boy. One boy who should die for attacking me.
Takes a knife and stabs himself.
Hazoku: Ha ha ha. You can don't have proof you didn't attack me but It's my word against yours. You see no one has ever questioned me and told me that exact words you did. That's why you have to die.
Crono: I don't people are stupid enough to believe this. One with such power can become corrupt and even drunk with power.
Hazoku: And another thing Megas is on his way here as we speak this none sense. Yes I helped him and the people don't know what they're getting themselves into.
Crono: No not Megas. He's responsible for alot in these events.
Hazoku cryed for help
Hazoku: Attention everyone! Help me. Crono is one of the lurkers I've spoke about. Please come quick don't let him escape.
Pretty soon the towns people came in. They had weapons and (I'm not finished yet I'll be back next week to finish this short chapter up and I'll ontinue writing my story)