Post by The Smurf on Dec 10, 2014 12:55:29 GMT -5
What happens when The Smurf opens up RPGM2 and tinkers around with stuff for a while? New game ideas, that's what.
So, hey, Smurf, why are you starting another game you'll never finish? Don't you already have like five of those right now?
Hmm. Lemme check. *goes and counts* *well, there's SS2...and SS3, which barely even exists at all...oh, don't forget Seraphim, but I think that one got cancelled...and FBOP, yeah, can't forget FBOP, that supposed opus he's been working on since 2006, yeah, I know right, eight years and he still thinks he's gonna finish it, what a chump* Oh, guess it's only four then. See? Room for one more.
You know what was a fun game back in 2002? Animal Crossing. I mean, what does a 12-year-old kid want more than to be a grown up? Except instead of living in the real world...you know, the one that sucks, where you have to pay bills on time and get a job...you get to live in a made-up town with animal characters and a raccoon who lets you pay off your house on your own schedule. Yeah, that was a fun game. But remaking it in RPGM2 sounds like an impossible task, doesn't it?
Yep. That's why I'm not doing that. I'm just making a cheap knock-off instead.
And by "cheap knock-off," I mean absolutely not Animal Crossing in any way. No one can match that level of genius. But something heavily inspired by it, with some striking similarities whose proximity to outright theft can be decided by a jury of my peers. Here's the thing, though. You know what Animal Crossing's problem was? Character templates. Don't get me wrong, there were some great characters in the game, and if you bantered with them for hours you could really learn some wonderful things (as well as get your favorite cute goat girl villager to bring a present to your door on your birthday), but the characters were pretty shallow and talking to them got repetitive after a while. But you know what game had amazing NPC characters with literary-quality story arcs? Majora's Mask. Yeah, that black-sheep Zelda game.
Imagine an Animal Crossing game with Majora's Mask type NPCs. Then cheapen the quality to the level of an RPGM2 user with intermediate to moderately advanced skill. Got that in your head? Good. Now you're ready for Welcome Home.
All the adoring Chronicle Games fans who exist solely in my head have been clamoring for Harley the Clown to have his turn in the spotlight. Well, imaginary adoring fanbase, you're about to get your wish. In Welcome Home, you get to play as the legendary mascot of Chronicle Games himself...the one and only Harley the Clown. 'Bout time, right? You see, Harley's been making more money than he can count as the mascot of a world-class gaming company. And what does a newly wealthy clown do with all his money? He moves to Quietsville and buys a nice new house, that's what.
Except there's one problem he didn't consider.
Quietsville doesn't use traditional money. It uses smackers instead.
Enter Finklestein, Quietsville's sole landlord, who lives in a big fancy mansion just beyond the town gate. Now this guy's got a ton of smackers. Smackers accrued from the rent payments of every single resident of Quietsville. He's, how you say, rolling in it. And he's here to help Harley get settled in. But when Harley tells him he has no smackers to offer, well...hmm. Things get a bit tricky. But maybe there's hope after all. Because there's something else Finklestein wants...maybe even more than smackers. He wants some glowy red orbs. You know, the rare kind. The ones you can only get from doing sidequests and winning minigames. Those would do nicely. If Harley can get, oh, say, a hundred of those, then he can have the house rent-free. Forever. No strings attached. Really, I promise.
But wait, Harley asks. Can't I just have Chronicle Games send my royalty checks in smackers instead of dollars? Then I can pay you rent just like everyone else and *not* have to do all these sidequests and minigames.
Well, you see, says Finklestein, I've already gotten myself giddy over the prospect of having these glowy red orbs. I'm swimming in a pool of them in my mind right now. I shan't take anything else as payment! But I'll tell you what. You seem like the respectable type. I'm sure I can trust you to come through on your promise. How about you move in now and just bring any glowy orbs to my office whenever you find them? That should do nicely.
And so Harley steps into his new, empty house, pockets full of money that's no good here, and wonders how in the world he's gonna find those damn orbs. Guess he'll have to ask the townsfolk.
But the townsfolk have things to do. Can't make rent payments if you don't work, right? The townspeople need employment, and the shops and minigames in town need people to run them. Enter a shop in the morning and you'll probably see a different person behind the counter than you did the night before. That guy's in bed now. This shopkeeper will have to do until 1pm, when she gets off work and heads over to Quietsville's north branch to chill by the pond. After 9, though, she can only be found at Puzzle's Alehouse. Then tomorrow she's back in the shop, selling flowers to you so you can go plant them in your garden.
But hey, where are you going to get furniture for that new empty house of yours? Lucky for you, you live right next door to Sven's Den, home of the most standard furniture money can buy. Sven's got all the best deals...so good he'll do all the negotiations for you and save you the trouble. Want inexpensive furniture that'll look good and last long? Sven's standard fare is your best bet. He doesn't have the tacky frills of fancy-shmancy tuttifruitti stores. With a pocket full of furniture you can now fill up those empty spaces in your house. Now you've got a livable pad.
But what about those orbs? How are you to get your hands on those? Maybe by helping people around town. Sidequests, remember. Each resident of Quietsville has a story arc. And each resident is willing to donate his or her hard-earned orb to Harley's cause if he can help get that resident through that arc. That involves getting involved with that resident's life and his or her schedule. I mean, they all got stuff to do during the day...sometimes they're at work, sometimes they're sleeping, sometimes they're at the pub, and sometimes they're just trolling. Getting to know people is on you, but hey, you're a clown. You should be good at that.
Stop by the inn on any given day and you might run into some out-of-towners. But they're not likely staying for more than a day or so. If you want to indulge in what they have to say, you'll want to make sure you don't miss them. They'll probably be back in a week, though.
Quietsville a little limiting? Feel free to leave town and explore the county. You may find some out-of-town orbs as well. You may even find other small villages with exotic furniture or plants for your better home and garden. And hey, those foreign shopkeepers might be more willing to haggle over their wares. Might. Depending on the day and the shopkeeper, of course. You never know...a lazy employee might not argue too much on a Friday. But the manager might be a tougher sell.
Despite its name, there's always something to do in Quietsville, and there are always people around to talk to. But at the end of the day you want to crawl into bed and sleep. Sleep a whole day away, or maybe just a quick nap to pass some time along. That's your call. Maybe get into a routine of your own, get close with your favorite residents, win friends, influence people. But most importantly, keep Finklestein off your back. Gotta get that house paid for, of course. Then you can truly call it "your" house. Life isn't always easy, but Harley's bound to enjoy life here. Welcome home, Harley. The world awaits you.
Coming Fall 2037. Release date subject to change.
So, hey, Smurf, why are you starting another game you'll never finish? Don't you already have like five of those right now?
Hmm. Lemme check. *goes and counts* *well, there's SS2...and SS3, which barely even exists at all...oh, don't forget Seraphim, but I think that one got cancelled...and FBOP, yeah, can't forget FBOP, that supposed opus he's been working on since 2006, yeah, I know right, eight years and he still thinks he's gonna finish it, what a chump* Oh, guess it's only four then. See? Room for one more.
You know what was a fun game back in 2002? Animal Crossing. I mean, what does a 12-year-old kid want more than to be a grown up? Except instead of living in the real world...you know, the one that sucks, where you have to pay bills on time and get a job...you get to live in a made-up town with animal characters and a raccoon who lets you pay off your house on your own schedule. Yeah, that was a fun game. But remaking it in RPGM2 sounds like an impossible task, doesn't it?
Yep. That's why I'm not doing that. I'm just making a cheap knock-off instead.
And by "cheap knock-off," I mean absolutely not Animal Crossing in any way. No one can match that level of genius. But something heavily inspired by it, with some striking similarities whose proximity to outright theft can be decided by a jury of my peers. Here's the thing, though. You know what Animal Crossing's problem was? Character templates. Don't get me wrong, there were some great characters in the game, and if you bantered with them for hours you could really learn some wonderful things (as well as get your favorite cute goat girl villager to bring a present to your door on your birthday), but the characters were pretty shallow and talking to them got repetitive after a while. But you know what game had amazing NPC characters with literary-quality story arcs? Majora's Mask. Yeah, that black-sheep Zelda game.
Imagine an Animal Crossing game with Majora's Mask type NPCs. Then cheapen the quality to the level of an RPGM2 user with intermediate to moderately advanced skill. Got that in your head? Good. Now you're ready for Welcome Home.
All the adoring Chronicle Games fans who exist solely in my head have been clamoring for Harley the Clown to have his turn in the spotlight. Well, imaginary adoring fanbase, you're about to get your wish. In Welcome Home, you get to play as the legendary mascot of Chronicle Games himself...the one and only Harley the Clown. 'Bout time, right? You see, Harley's been making more money than he can count as the mascot of a world-class gaming company. And what does a newly wealthy clown do with all his money? He moves to Quietsville and buys a nice new house, that's what.
Except there's one problem he didn't consider.
Quietsville doesn't use traditional money. It uses smackers instead.
Enter Finklestein, Quietsville's sole landlord, who lives in a big fancy mansion just beyond the town gate. Now this guy's got a ton of smackers. Smackers accrued from the rent payments of every single resident of Quietsville. He's, how you say, rolling in it. And he's here to help Harley get settled in. But when Harley tells him he has no smackers to offer, well...hmm. Things get a bit tricky. But maybe there's hope after all. Because there's something else Finklestein wants...maybe even more than smackers. He wants some glowy red orbs. You know, the rare kind. The ones you can only get from doing sidequests and winning minigames. Those would do nicely. If Harley can get, oh, say, a hundred of those, then he can have the house rent-free. Forever. No strings attached. Really, I promise.
But wait, Harley asks. Can't I just have Chronicle Games send my royalty checks in smackers instead of dollars? Then I can pay you rent just like everyone else and *not* have to do all these sidequests and minigames.
Well, you see, says Finklestein, I've already gotten myself giddy over the prospect of having these glowy red orbs. I'm swimming in a pool of them in my mind right now. I shan't take anything else as payment! But I'll tell you what. You seem like the respectable type. I'm sure I can trust you to come through on your promise. How about you move in now and just bring any glowy orbs to my office whenever you find them? That should do nicely.
And so Harley steps into his new, empty house, pockets full of money that's no good here, and wonders how in the world he's gonna find those damn orbs. Guess he'll have to ask the townsfolk.
But the townsfolk have things to do. Can't make rent payments if you don't work, right? The townspeople need employment, and the shops and minigames in town need people to run them. Enter a shop in the morning and you'll probably see a different person behind the counter than you did the night before. That guy's in bed now. This shopkeeper will have to do until 1pm, when she gets off work and heads over to Quietsville's north branch to chill by the pond. After 9, though, she can only be found at Puzzle's Alehouse. Then tomorrow she's back in the shop, selling flowers to you so you can go plant them in your garden.
But hey, where are you going to get furniture for that new empty house of yours? Lucky for you, you live right next door to Sven's Den, home of the most standard furniture money can buy. Sven's got all the best deals...so good he'll do all the negotiations for you and save you the trouble. Want inexpensive furniture that'll look good and last long? Sven's standard fare is your best bet. He doesn't have the tacky frills of fancy-shmancy tuttifruitti stores. With a pocket full of furniture you can now fill up those empty spaces in your house. Now you've got a livable pad.
But what about those orbs? How are you to get your hands on those? Maybe by helping people around town. Sidequests, remember. Each resident of Quietsville has a story arc. And each resident is willing to donate his or her hard-earned orb to Harley's cause if he can help get that resident through that arc. That involves getting involved with that resident's life and his or her schedule. I mean, they all got stuff to do during the day...sometimes they're at work, sometimes they're sleeping, sometimes they're at the pub, and sometimes they're just trolling. Getting to know people is on you, but hey, you're a clown. You should be good at that.
Stop by the inn on any given day and you might run into some out-of-towners. But they're not likely staying for more than a day or so. If you want to indulge in what they have to say, you'll want to make sure you don't miss them. They'll probably be back in a week, though.
Quietsville a little limiting? Feel free to leave town and explore the county. You may find some out-of-town orbs as well. You may even find other small villages with exotic furniture or plants for your better home and garden. And hey, those foreign shopkeepers might be more willing to haggle over their wares. Might. Depending on the day and the shopkeeper, of course. You never know...a lazy employee might not argue too much on a Friday. But the manager might be a tougher sell.
Despite its name, there's always something to do in Quietsville, and there are always people around to talk to. But at the end of the day you want to crawl into bed and sleep. Sleep a whole day away, or maybe just a quick nap to pass some time along. That's your call. Maybe get into a routine of your own, get close with your favorite residents, win friends, influence people. But most importantly, keep Finklestein off your back. Gotta get that house paid for, of course. Then you can truly call it "your" house. Life isn't always easy, but Harley's bound to enjoy life here. Welcome home, Harley. The world awaits you.
Coming Fall 2037. Release date subject to change.