My Story Idea (Updates)

[7legionArmy]

So here is the whole story in detail I know its super long, I hope you have the patience please give me your opinion.

The Feudal Wars have finally ended. The old ancient religions of the feudal states slowly fade with the spread of the one true God. With the political stage in the West failing the new monotheistic religion brings together Church and State. The Cast System is introduced and the Church begins its rapid rise to power.

125 years pass and the Pagan Riots of 1312 occur in the Holy City of Avalin'e. A new political figure rises from the incident. Arch Bishop Valasko of Ingrid comes to power. A secret society called the Knights of the Radiant Cross an intricate spynet working behind the curtains of the Church and under the direct control of the Arch Bishop is formed.

A cult under the name of Merlincroft is plotting to separate Church and State and to revive the ancient pagan religions. A secret war is waged between Merlincroft and the Church. The Count DeBauchaus and his family are held captive in their summer villa in Milan. The Knights of the Radiant Cross are sent to resolve the situation, but something goes terribly wrong and the Count and his family are killed. The Church sends the Holy Knights from Avalin'e to investigate the situation as a front to apease the Courts and Parliament.

The Holy Knights investigation leads them to a yong man named Absalon De'Adluss, who they believe was involved in the incident. Further investigation leads them to discover that only 4 hours after the DeBauchaus Incident, Monmonoth Monestary in the Dykildre Countryside was reported destroyed by a fire. The Holy Knights are lead to believe that these two incedents are some how connected. The Holy Knights continue their investigation with Absalon De'Adluss as the primary suspect.

Absalon De'Adluss was a former resident of the late Monmonoth Monestary after hearing of the destruction of his home he loses his sanity for a short time. Slowly regaining his sanity he comes to a singular goal to discover the identities of those who are responsible for burning the Monestary, and will sacrifice anything to do so. Absalon kills the seer Cadmus Vileheart Elite Arbelestiar in the Merlincroft ranks who possess the unique ability to pierce into the minds of others. By killing Cadmus Absalon gains Cadmus unique power. But is unable to control it.

The stage shifts as a darker conspiracy unravels between certain individuals of Merlincroft and the Church. Absalon and his unique second sense become tools for those in power. As pawns are placed and the final confrentation to reveal the truth draws near.

Conspiricies, deciet, betrayel, murder, mystery and conflict in the this epic tale to uncover the truth.
Some Dialogue from the game.

Absalon: "Don't you understand Agamemnon your being used."

Agamemnon: "Ha ha ha ha. Poor Absalon oblivious to that which seems so obvious. What do you take me for a fool. I allready know you simpleton."

Absalon: "What...?"

Agamemnon: "Absalon their is one truth in this world that is certain and that is that we are all pawns to be used for those in power. Even you Absalon De'Adluss."

Absalon: "Your wrong Agamemnon. We have a choice, free will. We decide our own fate."

Agamemnon: "I would have expected as much from you. Choice, ha, free will is just a delusion for the weak. Open your eyes and see things for what they really are not some false reality."

Main Characters

1. Absalon De'Adluss Class: Multiple
2. Caliberus Reolves Class: Thief, Master Thief
3. Hellena Belfuedemont Class: Alchemist
4. Malacod Viscorres Class: Bounty Hunter
5. Sir Beowulf Class: Temple Knight
6. Joan of Arc Class: Temple Knight
7: Autumn Sirgain Class: Aszure (Summoner)
8: Green Thumb (Real Name Unknown) Class: Geomancer
9. Artimus Wingell Class: Astrologer
10: Yohcaba Class: Dragon

OKay so you know a little bit about the plot, gameplay. Im not a big fan of world maps so their won't be one. I love eleberote level design and dungeons so you can expect that. Defianetly FFT influenced. The battle system is Tactical, using the Tactical Movement Grid. Skills are like that in FFT. Basic Skills, (attacking and etc)example Spirit Punch: Diminish All Targets Mp, Support Skills Example Ignore Gravity: Add Float, and Reaction Skills example, Scrooge Heart: Damage Recieved Equals Money Gained Trigger Hp Damage.

Features

Blacksmith In some towns if your equipment breaks for a fee you can have them repair your broken equipment. If you own a tent they can go with you.

Tent In Battle you first place your Tent. The Tent is where you store your equpment and the party memebers that are not in battle. Functions: When you enter into the tent during battle you can Change equipmwnt, swap characters and if you have a Blacksmith with you they can repair your equipment. The tent also works like a healing area while your in the tent your Hp very slowly revives.

Sp (Skill Points) Everytime you make a successful normal attack you gain Sp which is a formula depending on how much damage you dish out to the enamy. Skills cost Sp. Skills cost from a range of 10Sp to 900Sp.

Multiple Classes ranging from long range attack units to hand to hand combantants.

Class List
Page: Basic Skill
Thief: Steal
Master Thief: Steal All
Alchemist: Alchemy
Arbelestiar: Range Skill
Blunderbuss: Blast Skill
Witch: Black Magic
Arch Witch: Dark Magic
Knight: Break Skills
Temple Knight: Elemental Swords
Holy knight: Holy Sword Skill
White Knight (Sistine Knight) Heaven Sword Skill
Black Knight (Death Knight Brotherhood) Drop Skill
Knight of the Radiant Cross: Celestial Sword Skill
Divine Knight: Ultimate Sword Skill
Demonic Knight: Hell Sword Skill
Bounty Hunter: Trappist Skill
Geomancer: Earth Magic
Aszure (Summoner)
Astrologer: Astrology
Goddess: Heaven Breath Skill

Oh Sorry forgot to mention it's soon to be a online comic as well. Just started first couple chapters sould be complete within the next three weeks.

[The Final Rune]

Your story looks promising. I love all the political/reigious/society type intrigue you've got going there. How far along are you in development? This sounds like a title I'd really like to play.

[7legionArmy]

Im about 45% in. All level design, skills, characters, and monsters are finished just scripting is left. And lots of it. I'll need 2 Memory Cards. Memory Card 1 is the First Half of the Game and Memory Card 2 is second half. Im glad you enjoy it I will work on it as fast as I can thank you.

[Doan the Nado]

I, too, loved your story. Some of it sounds familiar... I'm sure I've read your game's background somewhere else before. I'm glad to hear you'll be making a system using the TMGS: you should find some help here if you run into trouble since vespuleth (a member here) is one of the co-developers.

You story was so good that I hope it is not all backstory. Some of it would seem like some cool stuff to play through or to be revealed through cutscenes during the game. Or perhaps after you finish this game, you could make a prequel or something. Regardless, I look forward to seeing what you come up with. Your classes seemed to be a nice blend of familiar, typical ones mixed with some that you made yourself. I like that.

[7legionArmy]

Actually its almost all game play. It works using a series of dungeons stringed together instead of a world map. Lots of cutscenes brief though. The battles are very epic. Huge sword skill attacks (similar to FFT). The Online Comic will most likely be out before the game since the scritping is taking a life time.

[millivanilli]

Sounds cool if you have i max drive id like to play it. ;D

i didnt see a welcome board so ill intro duce my self now

name millivanlli aka Trevor Miller
age. 14
game Chaos the clash between the earth "its under the topic hells rain but i changed it cause i did some mor things to wich dont just make demons win"
story: You are a angel or devil/demon witch ever you perfer the demons break through the earth crust and the angels come down to battle it off.
Cool things in it. If you do bad with a demon you get horns If you do good with an angel your halo gets more shiney.

[7legionArmy]

Its nice to meet you millivanilli. Thanks for your support. I don't a I Max drive but I could get one.

[Dungeon Warden]

The story sounds great. I was afraid it was all back story when I read it, but I'm glad you are actually planing to fully flesh the story out. I'm impressed that you're 45% in. Does that mean the first file is nearly done? I look forward to playing this.

(now, I really have to push myself to finish my game )

[7legionArmy]

Yes 45% in. Lots of restless nights. I am taking a little break from it. I have other responsabilities to look to but I have been working on some new concepts for the game. Lots of really indepth concepts like the quote "Men are only gods lying dormant". I won't give anything away but I sould have the online comic up soon and if Im allowed to I'll post the link so that way you may have a better insight on the game. Thank you all for your support.

[vespuleth]

your allowed to post a link.

good story. it sounds intriguing. it sadly sounds alot like the story im working up right now, in a sense. (the involvement of the church, society, and manipulation). but anyways, if you have any questions about any scripting, one of us here will be able to help, and any questions you have about the tactical combat system (which i have named the Vicious Tactics Combat System after vic, who codeveloped it w/ me) lemme know. which reminds me. i have to answer tacticalmans questions.

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Tacticalman, ill get to it this weekend at the latest

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also, ill actually sit down and go over the ins and outs of the story later, and give you a better opinion of it, and any possible critiques this afternoon. welcome to the boards.

[7legionArmy]

Thanks. If I need help which I will I will defianetly ask for it. Good luck with your game.

And please I need all the comments and criticism I can get please let me know what you think of it. Suggestions are welcome as well.

Oh one other thing if you want me to reveal more plot without a spoiler please let me know. I have alot of revision to do so please just let me know. Thank you.

[millivanilli]

We all got some compititon,"this guy is good" ive got alot of game ideas but i have to finish my first one Exples An olden day war game with like Jets and tanks but they shout arrow out of the jet and the tank shots rock like a catapolt that a future idea that not a good one no story. but its a game for those who like war and gun games.

[7legionArmy]

I do have a new game idea coming up Im not sure that it would work well for RPG maker 2. Pretty much a Sc-Fi.

The years is 2053, Earth's Federation Alliance with the Mars Republic crumbles with the production of AI to main stream consumerism. The Earth Federation passes the Mars Migratian Act making all civilan transportation to Mars from Earth now illegal. Earth representatives on Mars riot againts the AI Consumer Bill. Mars Republic promises full safety of all AI owners by creating a organization called the AIA, whose primary function is to moniter all AI activity.

When the AI project's was first developed all the first AI's were a complete failure all their subroutines would crash once they were booted up. The Mars AI Development Team had to colaborate with LUNAR the Moons Scientific Division. With their combined efforts they create a functioning AI called PA-1 (Personal Assistant) a slave AI whose programming can change with its owners Interface Pod with certain limitations.

Unknown to Most civilians The Mars AI Development Team was given a second commision to create Military AI as well as the PA-1 AI. 7 Prototypes were created each given a single number. 1 trough 7. A violent accident occurs when the AI One through Six malfunction when activated. The AI go on a rampage. The AIA perform an investigation and their research leads them to as small lab on Terrance 5 one of Mars smaller moons. Apparently whoever was involved with this lab on Terrance 5 had downloaded a virus into these 6 military AI except for Seven which had programmed itself to be prone to the Virus.

So really weak. I know Im working on it. Basically the game play is to find the other 6 military AI and destroy them. You play as Seven, there are of course my favorite conspiracies within conspiracies, but its alot to type right now so maybe I'll put up another post for this game idea then eleborate on it.

[Deleted]

I'm guessing this is where you saw it Doan.

doansdomain.proboards27.com/index.cgi?board=Games&action=display&thread=1101945605

I told you guys. ;D

Anyways, yes, I'm glad to see you finally came to Doan's boards and I'm not surprised with all the praise your getting. I've already told you what I think.

[7legionArmy]

I just want to say thank you to WilliamKirk it was very kind of him to show this wonderfull RPG Maker 2 Community to me. I have gotten many responses and its awesome. Sorry for not joining earlier, thank you once again for all your help.

[Deleted]

No problem. We can always use another good RPGMer.

[vespuleth]

i reread through all of this, and im not finding any story flaws. but i do have a few questions:

what were the fuedal wars?
how did these wars cause the collapse of government?
why are the merlincroft not satisfied w/ practicing in secret?
is this the story of the entire world, or do other regions still have their own government?

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so the knights of the radiant cross are at the house of that guy when hes killed, and then holy knights are sent to investigate. they basically need to frame someone, and absolon becomes a primary candidate. but why?

and how far away from his home is this guys house? it cant be far, given that im assuming mideaval type setting, so you cant get far in four hours. (unless hes superman) and if these two (the monastary and the dead guys house) are too far away, how do they use them to draw conclusions about whose involved, and assume one guy is involved in both? (does any of that make sense?)

finally, where is absolon during all this. it says he hears of the destruction of his home. and who tells him? when does he find out? itd seem hed find out right after (like as its burning down) if he were close, and if he werent, how does the church suspect him in the first place?
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thats really all i got, and these are more thoughts then fallacies.

really good work on the story.

[7legionArmy]

To Answer your questions.

"what were the fuedal wars?"

Before the land of Norhan was united as a single Provance it was several Fuedal States battling for territory expansion

"how did these wars cause the collapse of government?"

The potical stage in the West was simply a dictatorship, whoever was the strongest in each Fuedal State was fit to rule. This system was failing because militia and the organized army rebelled aginst this system demanding a more stable system. Mass riots occured causing for a change hence the collapse of that type of dictater system.

"why are the merlincroft not satisfied w/ practicing in secret?"

I would answer this question but then it would be a spoiler so if you don't mind you will find out when the game is complete.

"is this the story of the entire world, or do other regions still have their own government?"

No this only a story of a certain region to the west and yes other regions have their other forms of religions and governments. There is alot of other material outsaide of the actual story, side quests. Even joining other religions and actually becoming involvbed with other governments as government officals and so on.

"and how far away from his home is this guys house? it cant be far, given that im assuming mideaval type setting, so you cant get far in four hours. (unless hes superman) and if these two (the monastary and the dead guys house) are too far away, how do they use them to draw conclusions about whose involved, and assume one guy is involved in both?"

The Dykildre country side is in the Milan provinance. Only a two hour ride by horse back.

"finally, where is absolon during all this. it says he hears of the destruction of his home. and who tells him? when does he find out? itd seem hed find out right after (like as its burning down) if he were close, and if he werent, how does the church suspect him in the first place?"

Okay good questions. Absalon is present when the Monestary burns down. The Holy Knight's suspect Absalon because they hear rather non crediable information about how he was involved with a suspicious group who were present at the Monestary just an hour before the monestary burnt down. This group was actually the few Merlincroft who escaped the Radiant Cross at the DeBauchaus Estate. What you don't know is that a seperate group who was in the Merlincroft at that time didn't make to the monestary and stayed in the Thieves Forest only 5 miles distance from the Monestary to assasinate Absalon De'Adluss. Yes I know it just got more complicated if you have further questions let me know I will tell all that I can without spoiling anything.

[doyleman]

Woah......
i'm sorry, i can't really "concentrate" with history things. i will try to force myself to read the plot and all, but by the sound of what everyone is saying, i think i can handle it
....(30 seconds later).....
I am really sorry, but i can't understand what is happening...
i don't mean to sound rude, if i do that is, but if you release a demo, i will try it never the less

[Doan the Nado]

Congratulations on the post of the week nomination. This is a very good game story (I have read all of the posts, so I'm up to date on it). I appreciate that you let us know what we can without spoiling anything, a very good approach. I can't wait to see the game!

[Draygone]

Sorry for the late reply (been a while since I was looking at the game stuff others have been posting; a lot of time it takes). Your game sounds very interesting. Your first post was kinda confusing, but I'm not really an expert at history or anything like that. It also sounded like a rundown of what happens instead of a detailed history, but that makes sense since, from what I understand, the stuff you posted was a playable portion and giving everything away in detail would ruin things some large amount. Since it's a TRPG, I'm very interested. I love FFT, both for its story and gameplay. If this ends up anything like it, you'll have one great game ready. I hope travel from place to place is smooth and fast enough.

I really like the tent idea you've got, especially with how you'd be able to switch out party members in the middle of battle, like if you find yourself outmatched by certain classes. Weapons breaking isn't one of my favorite features in any game, but it's not something I hate, and at least there's a blacksmith along with you if you have a tent. Speaking of which, you make it sound like it's possible to not have a tent. Would one buy a tent at some shop and carry it the rest of the game, or is it something you get by doing something special, like in a quest?

[7legionArmy]

Tents can be purchesed at almost any major city with a item/misc store. Blacksmiths you can find at most towns and their costs for their services vary. I apologize for the complicated posts but its hard to not spoil anything. I haven't been working on the game lately Iv been so busy but I have been working hard on the comic.

Also I have a new idea for when characters die that includes monsters and allies. When a character falls dead their soul rises up into the air then fades into the spirit world. You can only see this if you posses the Bifoculs Accessory. The Bounty Hunter class are known for having this accessory because it allows them to use their Capture Soul Skill (steal enamies/ even boss skills). Your help and support is always appreciated, screenshots are coming soon. Thank you.

[7legionArmy]

This secret/hidden war that is being waged between Church and State (Merlincroft) intensifies as Merlincroft uncovers information which the Church has gone through great lengths to keep secret. Radiant Cross continues to discover the whereabouts of Merlincroft's activities. The Holy Knights continue their investigation of the DeBauchaus incident. Absalon De'Adluss with the help of his superiors gains great support as he rises in knightly rank, unknown to him only to be used by them for their own private agendas.

Hellena Belfuedamont the Alchemist uncovers a mysterious truth about her father's involvement in a experiement that the Church conducted with several other Alchemists. An experiement which may turn the tables for the Church and destroy the Merlincroft.

I can't tell anymore for now but the scripting is on its way, I shall have it finished within the next 4 or 5 months. I have other things to attend to but its coming soon oh and I have screenshots coming up soon. Please give me your feedback thank you.

[Doan the Nado]

I like the sound of your characters' stories. They are pretty original and very interesting. With an online comic, your game should have the necessary driving force to keep the plot going when you don't know exactly what to do next. I think some RPG creators among us (at least me) get to a certain point in their story and don't know what to do next. I'm glad to see that you probably won't experience that problem. Good luck, and I look forward to your screen shots.

[7legionArmy]

Thank you Doan. Happy Holidays. More updates and screenshots to come. Also the comic is slowly coming along.