davian
RPG Maker-in-Training
Lyric writer
Posts: 16
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Post by davian on Dec 24, 2005 23:06:07 GMT -5
I posting this here to see what kind of suggestion I can get,so here is my characters,and story.
Story:Alex:And they lived enteraly in solitude.Thats how it should have ended.I was warned to spend as much time with my girlfriend as I can,before its to late.
I didn't listlen.This is were my adventure begins.
backstory:The main villian in the story,Chakra Kura III,
is kidnapping young girls,rapes them,and has offspring.
So far there are ten offsping running rampant,raiding villages.Your goal is to destory all the offspring,and kill
Chakra Kura III,but what of Alex's past,and how will this effect the adventure of Love,Honour,Hate,Redemtion,
Rebirth.This adventure will not be as it seems.................
..................
Characters
Alex:Somewhat of a quiet guy,his past is not really known,but he seems to know Chakra before this tale,
as if they were once friends.
Erika:The tragic female heroin of the game.She's sweet,innocent,and very playful.
Nelly:The cute Elf girl in the game,her past,is also shrouded in hystory.
What can I improve upon.
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Post by Rodak on Dec 25, 2005 5:17:18 GMT -5
Stories need a beginning, middle, and end.
Unless you are being vague on purpose (Like I do all the time) (nonsense works well with my comedy games).
There is a good start there, but you need to find motivation and such for your characters.
Who is doing what, and why are they doing it?
They say you should always leave your audience wanting more, but that applies to the game, not the synopsis used for obtaining feedback!
If you want to hold back certain elements for whatever reason, then I can only suggest getting a book on writing short stories (no matter what people say about structuring games like epic novels, they always come off like short stories to me... in structure anyhow). Those type things can be a big help.
Good Luck with it.
Peace.
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Post by vespuleth on Dec 26, 2005 0:01:09 GMT -5
you know rodak, i agree with you here. my game is currently based off of a short story i wrote, and it seems to be working okay. but in reality, games shouldnt be written like books or stories at all, because it makes it harder to fit. will i think has the best idea, writing it like a movie.
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davian
RPG Maker-in-Training
Lyric writer
Posts: 16
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Post by davian on Dec 27, 2005 12:31:51 GMT -5
I will explain why they are doing that in the prequel.
it will explain how chakra kura was once his best friend
but strayed into the wrong path,through pride.It will also explain why he now hates him,because he destroyed his village by burning it down.
It will also go into explaining Alex's girlfriend past,why she needs to be protected.
I will then explain how Alex mysteriously has the mark of the beast.
I will go into how Alex used to be part of a evil organization called counsil,and how he was orginally
genetically modified for one goal.
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