Path of Evermore

[Sion]

Well, I thought I'd put this up since I decided to give RPGm2 another shot the game wont be worked on full time because I'm still working on another game thats gotten loads more attention and that I really need to release. But in the process of working on that game there are sometimes when I have to wait for progress to eb completed by other team members, so I'm left with nothing to do. Therefor, I bring you the game I'll work on in my spare time. Known as Path of Evermore...

A few more other things, I've changed my name to Sion, which is my current name around the many rpgmaker communties, Holyflame was my old name, so I hope you guys can adjust okay.

Path of Evermore


|~\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\/~|
| || Game created by Holyflame
|_||______________________________________________________________________||_|
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| Author: Demetrie Gamble |
| Began: January 1st, 2006 |
| Completed: N/A |
| Email: [e-mail] |
| |
|____________________________________________________________________________|
|~\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\/~|
| || And now we begin with the pilgrimage of 400 years past. |
|_||______________________________________________________________________||_|



|~\/~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\/~~~~~~~\/~|
| || CH.00 || Character Introduction || CH.00 || |
|_||_______||____________________________________________________||_______||_|
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In the center of the world of Ortena, the tower of Elevore stood. This tower was said to rise into the heavens and acted as a gateway for the Goddess Renia to bestow the blessings of mana to the land.
However when a mysterious force somehow manages to destroy that gateway the planet falls into chaos and begins to die. In another Galaxy, Our Hero Sorin and his two companions sit in the ship taking them to their first missions destination. Quite nervously they dismount and are briefed on their mission. Although Sorin hated being a member of the W.E.S.R. His father was the commander and he had to become great like him one day. His first mission was simple, to search the ruin for missing comrades that went missing after they explored the ruins in the official mission.

Although Sorin and his companions dont find any souls, they do come by wall markings written in a strange language. Some how Sorin is able to read this language, he decideds to use it to his advantage. And treads into the forbidden depths of the Tempel, In these advanced times however magic had completely died out. Much like that of Ortena, when Sorin reaches a mysterious pedastool with a blue flame, He immediately tries to draw the power of mana, He is successful but he is unable to return to leave the ruin. With this source of mana now usable by Sorin, an unknown force supposedly sends our hero to Ortena at this chaotic time.

Monsters roam about freely, in this world. And once our Hero finds civilization, one event leads to another for his quest to return to his world and restore the power of mana to the world. Now known as the only human on the Ortena an infinite mana source. This is his tale to find the lands of Evermore.







+-- Sorin ----------------------------------------------------------- CH.01 --+



Sorin is a young Ex Star Ranger from the federation of W.E.S.R from the world of Earth, Flung into the past by an unknown force he takes on the skill of the swordsman. He is kind and gentle, and only wishes to learn as much as he can about this World of Ortena. In this world he is believed to be the Guardian of Mana for being able to wield many powers due to his infinite source of the power. Once he meets Princess Lillia he learns that he can use this power to regenrate the world, and find the Ancient Land of Evermore, said to be the last place mana could lie, Along this sacred land he can return to his world. Hero goes on a long and perlious quest, subduing villians and briinging peace to each land he traverses across. He's even able to create his own palace at one point in the game.



A Long adventure filled with many detailed side quests,

Legendary items for each character,

Traverse many lands, meeting many freinds and foes,

Minigames.

May have a custom battle system I'm still not the best coder in this program than with others.

~------------------------------------------------------------------~

This is all I have, as far as the actualy game not much is done either. I'm having to find out how to do things all over again...

[NASH7777]

Looking great so far!

[Doan the Nado]

The premise for this game sounds pretty original, and I like it a lot. This could be something very good, but first I think there are a few loose ends which need to be tied up (which you may still be working on, or have completed and just didn't mention).

You said "everything seems normally and barren and dusty, however on a large pedastool at the center of these ruin was a blue flame that stayed alive by the force of mana". This seems a little contradictory: if the mana is on a pedestal in the center of the ruins, wouldn't you think it would've been found by now, in the 1000 years since mana was removed from Ortena? It's really important to make something so key like this be well-hidden, or give some reason that the main character is so special as to be the first one to find it. Requiring the player to suspend their disbelief about something so key to the plot is not advisable.

It is okay to start out by saying that mana was mysteriously removed from Ortena, and giving the people's supposed belief of why this happened. By the very end, however, the player should receive a very good reason for this occurrence. If a goddess removed it, why did she deem it necessary? Were bad people starting to use it incorrectly, and it is now the Hero's job to fix this problem? If so, why is he sent to the time 400 years after mana was removed from the world? Wouldn't it make sense for him to go to the time when mana actually was removed? If there is some other reason, just make sure that it is credible and that it fits very well with the Hero's purpose for being sent to the point in time in which he finds himself.

To avoid confusion with dates, you may want to decide to stick to the present and relate the past/future through brief (about 5 minutes or less?) cutscenes. For example, in my RPG, the past is relatively important to the plot, but I am making it clear this is the past by showing a scene of a schoolteacher lecturing his young students on the history of their city. You could do something similar to this in order to tell of the removal of Mana. Even better, you could show a scene of some ceremony with many people praying to Renia to "appease her" in order to have Mana restored. During this scene, Hero could ask a local person what's going on, and this person would act all shocked, but eventually reveal that they are praying to Renia in order to restore the Mana that was lifted from Ortena over 400 years ago. Of course, if you wanted, you could then have the Hero do something dramatic with Mana in order to win the awe and the respect of all the people. Likewise, to reveal how Hero came to be where he is it, at some point in the story you could have someone ask him, "So where exactly do you come from?" and then have a cutscene as he tells the story of how he comes to the future. You could hold off on this revelation as long as possible in order to add suspense and curiousity to the player as to who exactly this Hero is, anyways. Of course, you'd have to reveal it pretty early on to make his quest make sense, but you could hold off for a while.

I have a minor problem with a few cliche elements: namely, the main character (Hero), and the term mana. Mana has been used a million times, so it's really okay if you decide to stick with it, since it's been generally accepted as the source of magic power. If you can come up with a unique force that lives in your world other than Mana, that may be a small improvement on the quality of your story. This isn't really all that critical, though, and if that only adds difficulty to what you're doing, then don't worry about it. As for Hero, I think that really drags down the integrity of your character. The title "Hero of Mana" sounds a little corny for a main character - if you were someone in that town, would you call him that? Something like "The Great Wielder of Mana" or "Mana Warrior" or "Guardian of Mana" sounds much cooler, and I'm sure you could come up with something yourself. As for "Star Ranger Hero", I'm not quite sold on that title either. I mean, it sounds futuristic and if you're stuck on it, it will work fine. You have to admit, though, that putting 2 or 3 commonly used titles together into one doesn't really make them any better, and I think you can come up with something a little more original. At any rate, regardless of what you decide to do about the Hero's titles, it's very important to give him a real name, a real identity, so that people who play your RPG can relate to him. You have given him motive for his quest - that is good - now just flesh him out a little, give him a background, make him complex and emotional, etc.


As I mentioned before, I think you have come up with a very good RPG idea here. You just need to flesh out your main character, work on adding a little more originiality to certain story elements, and plan on how to reveal key plot issues through cutscenes and dialogue. If you pay attention to these key areas and do a good job on everything else you have told us, I think you'll have yourself a very good RPG.

[Sion]

Oh yeah, most of that dialogue stuff I had in mind. And I was able to fix up the story while I was in English class, ( Just because my writing abilities improve in there strangely... ) It still stays true to the basic elements but6 changes a few things around and what not. Okay, and oh yeah the characters name was Hero cuz I was gonna have him being able to be named, But I found that kinda hard in my last game so I named him.

In the center of the world of Ortena, the tower of Elevore stood. This tower was said to rise into the heavens and acted as a gateway for the Goddess Renia to bestow the blessings of mana to the land.
However when a mysterious force somehow manages to destroy that gateway the planet falls into chaos and begins to die. In another Galaxy, Our Hero Sorin and his two companions sit in the ship taking them to their first missions destination. Quite nervously they dismount and are briefed on their mission. Although Sorin hated being a member of the W.E.S.R. His father was the commander and he had to become great like him one day. His first mission was simple, to search the ruin for missing comrades that went missing after they explored the ruins in the official mission.

Although Sorin and his companions dont find any souls, they do come by wall markings written in a strange language. Some how Sorin is able to read this language, he decideds to use it to his advantage. And treads into the forbidden depths of the Tempel, In these advanced times however magic had completely died out. Much like that of Ortena, when Sorin reaches a mysterious pedastool with a blue flame, He immediately tries to draw the power of mana, He is successful but he is unable to return to leave the ruin. With this source of mana now usable by Sorin, an unknown force supposedly sends our hero to Ortena at this chaotic time.

Monsters roam about freely, in this world. And once our Hero finds civilization, one event leads to another for his quest to return to his world and restore the power of mana to the world. Now known as the only human on the Ortena an infinite mana source. This is his tale to find the lands of Evermore.

[Neo Samurai]

Mana...goddess...tower. Kind of reminds me of Tales of Symphonia. Ever play that game?

Anyway, so far, it sounds pretty interesting.

[The Smurf]

link05 said:

Mana...goddess...tower. Kind of reminds me of Tales of Symphonia.

i was thinking the exact same thing...especially before the edit when he said that the goddess withdrew from the world and it began to wither away...

but with the edit it is an improvement. i actually like the idea of naming the character Hero, cause then i could have other characters (comic reliefs, especially) give him crap all the way through the game. it'd be pretty fun...

are you sure we're not the same person, Neo?


-the smurf

[Bigfoot]

Every DQ game, the main character is named "Hero", it works if you want the player to name him and fit his persona.

The game sounds like a good ol' traditional RPG that is worth playing. I look forward to seeing progress.

[vespuleth]

if you really are going to name the character hero, i suggest a cognate, like hiro (from gundam) or something. but i cant say much, because ive used the name before. sounds interesting, but there is alot of assumption made. we will eventually need to know why all of these things 'suddenly' or 'supposedly' happen, and why he can read the language, ie where the source of all this is, what makes him special, so on and so forth.

[Sion]

Of course you'll know, As the story progresses things become apparent. Plot twists here and there. It'll be alright. I just named the charcater Hero cuz I wanna gonna have players be able to name him, But I rmember how messy I got with all that stuff before
so I named him Sorin.