a gift from the beer gods!

[islandjack]

I didn't know if I should put this one here or in "Spam Away," but you guys can move it if you want. This was just too good to be true and I had to share it with someone.

So, I've got the day off from work, get to sleep late, play RPGM2 all day, etc. but it's my wife's little brother's birthday so we have to go out to eat with the family tonight. Usually, these events are tolerable, but even more so after a day of drinking beer and playing video games. Only problem is, no beer, I spent my allowance already this week and there's no way I can get my wife to pick me up a six-pack when she comes home for lunch to shades of: "You just want to get drunk so you can deal with my family!"

Whatever. I go to take the dog for a walk this morning, and despite being unseasonably warm, almost 40 degrees F after several days of below zero weather, there's a torrential downpour going on. So, after the dog does his business, I don't complain when he wants to take this path through the woods that leads back to our house. It's a shortcut, but seriously overgrown and very icy, treacherous, and I don't move too well before several cups of coffee. So, we're on the trail and my dog, being a beagle, is sniffing through the melted snow and he starts digging in this one spot and finds a plastic grocery store-type bag. Great. More garbage buried in the snow. Then, I hear the clinking of glass, and not wanting the dog to get cut, I try getting him away, but it's not happening. So, I decide to look and see what the hell he's trying to dig up, and it turns out to be 2 bags of beer! A six pack of Foster's and a six pack of Bud. In bottles.

Normally, I wouldn't touch something like this, but as I'm holding the bag of Foster's, this old lady walks by down by the sidewalk and sees me with what I'm sure she thought was a bag of garbage, so I couldn't just drop it and keep going. So, I took it home and the bottles were all full and there was a receipt in the bag for 2 12-packs of beer dated about four days ago.

I don't usually advertise that I'm a scumbag, but sometimes, old habits die hard, so I tried one of the Foster's, and it's pretty darn good. After a few sips, I went down to check my mail, walked up the road, took the path and picked up the Bud. I don't normally drink Bud, but after a few Foster's it should be fine.

DISCLAIMER: I'm sure some kids probably hid this beer over the weekend and it's just been too cold for them to come back and get it. I'm not a big fan of kids partying so close to my house, especially since there's a lot of other places around here to do so. Even though I'm over 30, I still look enough like a kid to get carded at bars and when buying cigarettes and hassled by the cops when I'm taking my dog for a walk. I've even heard, "Hey, you know tomorrow's a school day?" from one passing cop when I was walking my dog around 10 at night. Oh well, I'm sure when I was a kid, there was some kind of statue of limitations on stashed beer, when it becomes "finder's keepers."

The best part of this tale? My dog's name is "Thirsty." No kidding. I always thought it would be a good name for a dog, and my wife relented when we got him. Thing is, I've offered him beer, but he won't touch it.

I'm now drinking to everyone on this board that's helped me out with my inane questions in the past and hopefully will continue to help me in the future. Today's toast is: "To Doan The Nado!"

[BloodKnight]

LOL

Hey, finders keepers. Your wife shouldn't be such a poopyhead though.

[islandjack]

Mostly, she's just jealous that I get to spend a weekday playing video games and drinking beer. Hey, she gets every weekend off, so why complain? I have no problem drinking alone! (You guys are here in spirit)

[Rodak]

Was it the "Brewed In Australia Foster's?

That is SOOOOOOOO much better!!

And I guess I can forgive the Budweiser.

I have an American Beer Joke I'll have to send to you in a Private Message. Even censored, I don't wanna say it on the board!

Peace.

[NASH7777]

Hey that was my beer I was saving for this weekend jerk!!! lol jk, enjoy ;-)

[Doan the Nado]

That is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the toast. ;D

[islandjack]

I was going to let this thread die, but believe it or not, it happened again! You all know the story from above, how my loyal and trustworthy sidekick Thirsty the Beagle found me free beer. Well, I drank it all, and it was good (at least the Foster's, yes the Australian Foster's, and the Budweiser was as good as Budweiser can be). Of course, for about two weeks after the event, I suspected that my wife suspected that I was making the whole thing up and had some kind of secret stash of beer money to use only when she had to work all day and couldn't drink with me. She didn't come right out and say it, but there was... "that look."

Well, this past weekend, while I was very sick and had to work, coming home miserable and unable to enjoy a beer, my wife was politely refraining from drinking or buying any beer so as to not "rub it in" that I was sick and she wasn't. Saturday afternoon, she took the dog for a walk and took the shortcut path on the way home, and low and behold, what did Thirsty Dog find? Yup, more beer! This time it was a bag of 7 bottles of Bud Light (which my wife left behind, but I later went and fetched once the Dayquil kicked in) and a bag with 10 bottles of Harp (which she brought home).

Personally, I can't believe that someone would hide beer somewhere in a snowbank, go back to get it, find that it was gone, but then, nearly two weeks later, hide beer in the same spot again. I think I know who the clever kids are, though, as I was outside one day last week and my neighbor was telling me that she had been gone for the weekend and she thought that her 13 year old daughter and her friends had a party. I told her that I didn't hear any loud music or anything coming from her house while she was gone, but she said that she found a bottle of tequila hidden in the girl's room. Of course, I asked her what she did with it, and she said that she grounded her daughter and then drank the booze herself with her husband. Her husband kind of hinted around that if I saw the kids partying in the woods or drinking that I should say something to them, but I really don't want to get involved.

My wife did add that by taking the beer we found that we were doing a good thing, keeping our neighbor's daughter out of trouble by not letting her get into trouble. Fine by me if she needs to justify it, I just like free beer. I had a couple bottles of Harp with my neighbor last night and he said he really liked the stuff but doesn't buy it because it's too expensive. I think he's an Old Milwaukee drinker. I told him that I had been sick and still wasn't feeling too well, and sent him home with three bottles for himself. Should be interesting when his daughter spots him with it, especially it it really was hers to begin with.

But man alive, I couldn't afford anything like Harp when I was 13!

[manji]

that's funny stuff, man. ;D and it's all thanks to thirsty! a toast to man's best friend!

[Rodak]

The one true Gift From The Beer Gods:

Yours must have been a Gift From The Beerubs or something (Beerubs are Belgian Cherubs (Baby Angels) that appear in unreleased bits of The Clean Underwear Quest).

Still... Nice to find regardless of the source.

Peace.

[islandjack]

No way I'll find a bag of that stuff in the woods, Rodak, or probably anywhere near where I live (which is really, the American Third World). Still, you've piqued my curiosity and the search has begun. "Cassis Lambic," eh? Hopefully, it's available in the States. Good thing is, I'm taking a short trip to NH in a few days to visit a friend who lives very near to a beer store that seems to specialize in getting difficult-to-find brews. I've put in an email to them along with your pic, so hopefully I'll hear something soon. At the very least, I'll be returning home with the ingredients for a new homebrew (got a really nice homebrewery here). No idea what kind exactly I'll be picking up yet, but I had planned on naming the new brew "Groundscore" in light of recent events, but without a label idea, and with your permission, I might just use your avatar on the label and call it "Rodak's Suggestion."

Oh yeah, I did get your PM and laughed out loud for days, and have since hunted down everyone I work with, initiated a conversation about beer and then thrown your joke into it.

[Rodak]

The Cassis is Glorious indeed.

Seek a Beer distributor who has a "Merchant Du Vin" account. Or refer your local beer store to :

www.merchantduvin.com/

They import much Belgian and English Ale of divine origin.

You are seeking Lindeman's Cassis Lambic. It's even Purple in the glass! I fooled my family at this years Solstice equivalent celebration by telling them I brought the wine and serving this.

They were shocked it was beer!

You're welcome to use Rodak's name and image on anything you like.

He is not me, but rather my favorite Character in Anything, Ever.

He's from The Space Giants. If you are old enough to recall Ultraman and Jonny Sokko, you should remember Space Giants.

Maybe this will help:

Use the Gold robot for a light colored ale. His name was Goldar and he was the first Transforming robot in pop culture!

Created by Osamu Tezuka, The Walt Disney of Japan (Astroboy, Kimba, etc), it was his only live action show.

It is also the reason they invented television.

Find.

Watch.

[Bigfoot]

I never knew that, I love Osama Tezukas work! I even have (a reprint) of the old Metropolis manga, the anime remake they made a few years back is still one of my favorite movies to date.

[Rodak]

At the risk of topic hijacking I would like to point out that you would be seeking a reference to Magma Taishi (sometimes spelled Maguma Taishi) if researching Osamu Tezuka's work in most references.

My favorite piece of animation by him is a short feature called Jumping. It was the title of a documentary of his work and included with it. The dialog in the documentary was all Japanese, but it did not matter, the cartoon had no words.

Right.

Beer.

Just to avoid being completely off topic;

Light should not pass through a real beer.

Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale mixed 50/50 with a Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout is awfully close to the best of the traditional beerstuffs available.

Also Merchant Du Vin.

Belch.

[islandjack]

My wife is actually a huge fan of Sammy Smit's Nut Brown and Oatmeal Stout, but I've never had a 50/50 mix and I'm pretty sure she hasn't, either. I don't have to be to work too early on Saturday morning, so I know what I'll be picking up and trying for tomorrow night.

The second beer I actually brewed (after our flagship "Thirsty Dog Ale" - have since found out that the name is used by another beer, oh well-) was our "Monkey Nut" Brown Ale. I was going for something comparable to Sammy Smit's, but I don't think I came close. Still, it was drinkable, which is, after all, the bottom line. I've never tried to brew an oatmeal stout, but have been thinking about it for a while. Problem is, I've been spending far too much brewing time on trying to perfect my "Signature" India Pale Ale. Really no problem experimenting, as I get to drink the beer either way. I think that my next brew will be an Otmeal stout, though, probably the one to bear Rodak's name. This way, if we like the 50/50 Sammy combo you mentioned, I can brew up some Monkey Nut Brown along with my new Oatmeal stout and have our own 50/50s.

Thanks for the Lindeman's name. It'll help, and I've already emailed it along with the "Merchant Du Vin" inquiry.

[Rodak]

Wow... I envy you for being able to have a Nut Brown Ale and Oatmeal Stout for the first time!

Like all first times, it only happens once.

Enjoy.

[islandjack]

Well, yes, the oatmeal stout & nut brown combo was surprisingly delicious. Of course, the store where I usually buy beer no longer stocks any Samuel Smith's of any kind, which was a major disappointment when I went looking for it. Apparently, no one had bought any in about a year, so they decided to stop carrying it, making room on their shelves for more of that low-carb beer. I couldn't believe it, but then again, given the tastes of folks where I live, I guess I could. I suppose I'm partly to blame since I was probably the only one who was buying the stuff when they had it, and then got on an India Pale Ale kick, forgetting all about poor old Sammy. The store also started carrying a lot more beer from a local brewery (The Lake Placid Pub & Brewery) and from two breweries in Vermont (Magic Hat and Long Trail), and their beers now comprise the store's formerly excellent specialty beers section. Oh well, Long Trail's IPA is on par, though seasonal, and their standard Long Trail Ale has become one of my staples, a "table beer" of sorts at my house.

So, what was I to do? Well, I found out which local beer distributor had Sammy Smit's, and cornered their man when he was delivering beer to the store I work at. Luckily, I was running the produce department that day and happened to be at the back door when he came in, thinking he was the guy delivering the produce. Anyway, this guy is kind of an ass, but it turned out that he was trying to score some prime rib roast, but didn't want to pay the $9.99 a pound it usually is. Well, it was supposed to be on sale that week at $5.99 a pound, but the people around here usually don't buy a lot of prime rib, so the butcher at our store usually doesn't cut any, whether it's on sale or not. Lucky for me, I help out the butcher a lot when she's short-handed so I was able to do some fenangling, and with the help of the store manager was able to get some Samuel Smith's in the store 2 days later.

Let me tell you, it was worth all the trouble.

Anyway, my trip to NH has been delayed indefinitely, and I still have no word on the Lindeman's, but I was still inspired. Yesterday the ingredients for my nut brown ale and my oatmeal stout arrived via UPS, and I'll begin brewing them both tonight, as my wife will be out babysitting (and securing us a new computer!) and probably would rather not be here during the boiling (it stinks up the kitchen and with the outside temperatures hovering a just below zero, I'll have to install and run the kitchen window exhaust fan and then uninstall it. Lucky for us, we don't have to pay for our heat, because it's going to get cold in here for a few hours).

So, my plan is to brew both beers and the time of the bottling process, make one 12-pack of 22ounce half oatmeal stout/half nut brown bottles. As the fermentation process continues in the bottles, I'm not sure how it's going to turn out or taste, but if the stuff is terrible, I have a friend (who's coming over to help brew tonight) that I can convince that it really tastes good and pawn it off on him. Then, with my good separate brews, I can mix before drinking. Either way, I still win.

So, in hoping that the 50/50 works out in the bottle, I've gone and come up with a label:



A lot of things it can be called for short, too. I'll probably just go with "Rodak's." Oh, and my friend that saw the label protoype said, "Hey, isn't that the guy from Space Giants?"

[Neo Samurai]

Your dog is awesome. Wish I had a beer-seeking dog!

[Rodak]

Half and Half is a common way to describe Stout and Ale.

In fact, in Cokney (I hadda drop the "c" or it'd get censored) England they like to pronounce it Arf and Arf.

Appropriate, given your Dog.

When really drunk on the mix people have been known to use the phrase "I'm Arf Arf and Arf" (Half Half and Half).

Thought you'd like that.

Peace.

[islandjack]

Funny enough, when my friend Dave came over Friday night to help me make the beer, he spotted "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" on my DVD shelf and put it in for background noise. I guess he had never seen the movie before, and though we really weren't watching it, more than a few times he commented, "What the hell are those people saying?" I sent him home with the DVD and referred him to the Cokney (using Rodak's spelling suggestion to avoid censoring) dictionary in the special features. I didn't see your post, Rodak, until later on, but I definitely got a good laugh.

12 more days until the beer can be bottled!

[Rodak]

I was just talking to a friend with a "Cokney" dictionary (Really!!).

He says that Arf Arf and Arf refers to a Beer and Whiskey mix.

Never heard of it and don't wanna try it.

Sounds worse than Balderdash!

You do know what that word means, right?

In the good old days pub owners used to gather up all the half consumed beverages from the evening (after closing) and pour them all in a bucket.

Wine, Ale, Liquor... everything!

Then sell the stuff the next day as Balderdash!

Etymology (The origin of phrases) is fun.

6 more days until the beer can be bottled!